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"Sleep-Happy Porky" starring Porky and Daffy
Written by Pietro

[We open on Porky in bed]

Porky: B-b-b-boy what a day! I c-c-c-ould use some shut eye.

[Suddenly, an extremely loud "Sweet Georgia Brown" coming from "The House of Bricks," being preformed by "The Three Little Bops" wakes Porky up. Porky tosses and turns. The next morning Porky wakes up constantly shaking and goes to see "Dr. Quack."]

Dr. Quack: Hello dere, Mr. Pig? Vhat iss the trouble with you?

Porky: M-m-m-my nerves are all s-s-s-s-s-shot.

[Dr. Quack feels Porky's head with a sephascope]

Dr. Quack: Humm... seems like you need a nice restful vacation, yeah?

Porky: W-w-w-what do you s-s-s-suggest?

Dr. Quack: "Uncle Tom's Cabins."

Porky: Ah, th-th-th-these "Uncle T-T-T-T-T-Tom Cabin" rentals are sure p-p-p-peaceful.

[...little does Porky realize that Daffy has just moved into the cabin right next to his. Daffy starts singing "When My Dream Duck Comes Home." Daffy walks into his cabin and turns on the lights]

Daffy: Ha ha ha! Oh boy! What a night this'll be! Woo Hoo Hoo!

[Daffy imeditally removes all the food from the refrigerator and sits down on his coach. He turns the TV on, and "KOPS"]

Daffy: Oh boy, KOPS! My favorite show!

[Daffy turns up the TV, then he turns up his steros extremely loud blasting "Sweet Georgia Brown." This, of course wakes up Porky next door. Porky walks over to Daffy's cabin. Daffy opens the door.]

Daffy: Mmmm, yeas?

Porky: Could I ask you s-s-s-s-something, Mr. Duck? C-c-c-c-could you please turn down that noise? S-s-s-some of us are t-t-t-trying to s-s-sleep.

Daffy: Uhh....no.

Porky: P-p-p-please my d-d-d-d-doctor, Dr. Quack, said I need some peace and q-q-q-q-q-q.....

Daffy: YOU know Dr. Quack?!

Porky: Yes, b-b-b-but....

Daffy: Me and him were old college buddies! I even assisted him at the "Stitch in Time" hospital once!

Porky: B-b-b-b-but....


[Daffy slaps Porky HARD on the back]

Porky: P-p-p-please stop all that n-n-n-noise.

[Daffy shuts the door but Porky knocks on it again]

Porky: P-p-p-please can you, TURN DOWN THAT NOISE AND GO TO SLEEP!

Daffy: Oh, yeah? Well I can make all the noise I wanna! YIPPEE! WOO HOO!

[Daffy makes tons of noise and takes out a huge drum and starts pounding it. He then blows a party-favor horn in Porky's face]


Porky and Daffy: Should all the quaintence be forgot and ever on to mine! Should all the quaintence be forgot and...

Porky: W-w-w-wait a second it's J-j-j-july!


[Daffy slams the door]

Porky: Humph. So he wants to play it the hard way, eh?

[We fade to Daffy's doorway where Porky is waiting for him with a pie behind his back. Porky knocks on the door. Daffy opens the door and quickly slaps Porky with a pie, then sprays him with a sultzer, and then hits him on the noggin with a mallet. We fade into Porky's house, where Porky tries to sleep in his bed unsuccessfully]

Porky: B-b-b-b-b-bed, s-s-s-sleep, d-d-d-d-darned old d-d-duck.

[Daffy jumps into Porky's house and throws water on him.]


[Porky starts chasing Daffy into his house)

Porky: B-b-b-b-Mwa ha ha ha! I'll get that d-d-d-d-duck ONCE AND FOR ALL!

[Outside Daffy's door, Porky throws a stick of TNT in Daffy's house. Daffy runs out the back door with the TNT and wearing catchers mit)

Daffy: Come on, Porky ol' boy! Get this one and we win the world series! It means the game!

[Daffy throws the TNT at Porky, who catches it and starts doing a wind-up pitch. Then Porky realizes what he's holding and throws it. It lands right by his own cabin]


Porky: Ooooooo!

[Porky notices his rifle in the rubble]

Porky: B-b-b-b-Mwa ha ha ha!

[Porky takes the rifle and aims it at Daffy and shoots a few times at him forming a dust cloud. Daffy emerges from the cloud]

Daffy: Missed me, blood-shot eyes!

[Porky tries to shoot but his gun is out of bullets]

Porky: D-d-d-dog-gone it! N-n-n-no more b-b-b-b-b-shells!

[Porky throws the rifle down. And finally decides to sleep on a bunch of boards. At dawn, however, Daffy gets tired and decides to go to bed.]

Daffy: (Yawn) Time for a little shut-eye.

[Porky gets up and then hits Daffy with a mallet, a pie, and sprays him with a sultzer. Then he wacks him on the head with his rifle. Daffy walks around in a daze looking at stars]

Porky: Woo Hoo Hoo! Woo Hoo Hoo Hoo Hoo!

[Porky hops out into the sunset]


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