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Loud's histerical wish
By Robert Dougherty

{Opens at night as we see a light snowfall in the clear blue sky. We hear on the soundtrack the very beginning of the theme to the movie Edward Scissorhands which will be used for the remainder of this sequence. We then pan downward as we hear Danny Elfman's haunting choir for the first time, and see a quaint, simple village with small buildings and homes. Centering it all is a large castle}

{As we hear the choir humming the first verse of the beautiful, but sad opening theme, we go inside a room in that castle full of pictures. They are all showing happy townpeople, many of them the adults of "Histeria!" and many historical characters with them looking happy too. The village is brighter and more pleasent in these pictures than our first look, and centering the last photo we see is George Washington and Abe Lincoln from a balcony on the castle with townsfolk and famous historic people below}

{But as the choir sings the next verse, the sight is far worse. We go outside the castle and see that it is dreary and almost damp, and townsfolk are unhappy. We see famous scientists and inventors like Thomas Edison, Ben Franklin and Alexander Graham Bell carrying ruined pieces of equipment and throwing them in the trash. People are also checking safes and wallets and finding them not very full. We then go to the balcony of the castle and see someone in shadows watching it all, and smiling as the choir ends their chanting}

{The man then goes back inside as the music continues and goes in front of a door. He opens it and we see the room is the same one we saw earlier with those happy pictures. We see a few more of them along with this still unseen man. He takes down the one with George and Abe and replaces it with one of an evil looking man whose skin color and dark eyebrows are similar to the evil scientist in "Water Water Every Hare" He also wears a white shirt and purple pants. The man posting this then takes down the rest of the photos in a hurry and puts them in a box}

{The man then runs down a stairway nearby and goes outside as the music begins its climactic verse. It's still snowing, and there is a fire burning in a fireplace. The man takes the box of photos, and then throws it into the fire, and they burn quickly. He is still holding one photo though, one of the evil man from earlier, but this one is of him smiling with many historical scientists. We then see the man holding it is the evil man himself, looking at this photo with a tiny bit of sadness, but he then throws the photo in the fire with the rest of them. He walks away as the "Edward" theme comes to an end, and we close up on the fire....}

{....then we fade into another fire, this time in a house. We now see none other than Father Time sitting peacefully in a chair. He then turns towards us}

Father Time:{Gesturing towards the camera}Oh hi, glad you could make it, for a minute I thought you wouldn't show. Anyway, now that you're here I am pleased to present this very special presentation of Histeria. Now, although we specialize in presenting historical satire, sometimes the idea comes up to combine our historical characters with our own and use that to tell a story very unlike any we've ever told before. Unfortunately that idea often gets turned down, but I've convinced our bosses to let this one not be. So now let me tell you a very unusual but gripping story.

{He grabs a book entitled "Loud's Histerical Wish"}

Father Time: Now most of you are probably wondering what that strange opening sequence was all about. That took place in a time of distress in a small village not very long ago. Today I shall tell the tale of that town's fall from grace to distress, and then back to grace. A town called, Histeria Village.

{We pan away from Father Time and fade back to the village, which is looking more like the happy one from the pictures}

Father Time:{V.O}The town of Histeria Village is fairly like any other small, quaint little town. However, there is one big difference seperating it from any other. Not only are normal people in here, also taking up residence is almost every historical figure there is!

{We see many notable historical figures mixed together with regular people, just like in the photos}

Father Time: These figures live with the regular citizens and play a great part in making the town prosperous and happy. They use their numerous talents to make many things here stand out. For instance, whenever people are facing dillemmas and have to answer puzzling questions, the famous philosophers of the past answer those problems.

{Cut to a large line in front of one of those famous philosophers, Plato}

Man:{In front of the line}Mr Plato, I've come to hopefully get an answer to this age old question.{Holds up a half full glass}Is this glass half full, or half empty?

Plato:{In his Mr Rogers-esque voice}Well, that a real tough question, one that not even us philosophers have been able to figure out. We could just guess, but that would be based on trying to get out of wasting our brain cells on a question we can't answer and not based on knowledge and truth.

Old Female Voice:{V.O}Oh jeez, stand aside, Mr Big Shot Know It All, I'll handle this!{We see the voice belongs to the Worlds Oldest Woman}Okay, now the answer to this problem really depends on what you're doing with that glass. Now, when you pour milk or whatever you're drinking in the glass, you're trying to get it full, but if you're drinking out of it, you're trying to get it empty. Therefore, if the glass is half full from you pouring something, it's half full, but if it's half full from you drinking, it's half empty cause that's the goal. Case closed.{Everyone cheers}

Plato: Um, well that does sound reasonable, and quite embrassing since the answer didn't come from a philosopher.

W.O.W: Not bad from a mere old fruit vendor.

{Cut to inside a stage where a woman is sitting with Confusius, Rene DeCartes, and Charles Darwin}

Confusius:{In his John McLaughlin-esque voice}All right fellow knowledge lovers, we're here today to answer this woman's burning question. Miss, could you please tell us what that question is exactly, go!

Woman: Well, I'm interested in buying my friend's chicken farm, but he rejected my offer. Now I'm beginning to consider some dowright and almost illegal ways to get it. How do I stop myself from doing that?

Confusius: What the?! We're philosophers here, we're supposed to answer philosophical questions, not act like the police!

DeCartes: At least she's thinking these illegal thoughts, because it's better to think of something than nothing at all, because as I proved, if she doesn't think, she can't exist. She thinks, therefore she is!

Confusius: Tell us something we don't know, Mr Show Off Frenchman.

Darwin: Well, I can see why she'd covet a chicken farm, because owning chickens is quite fasinating, since though my process of natural selection, I determined that chickens and birds descended from dinosaurs. It's quite exciting to own decendents of 65 million year old extinct animals.

Confusius: We know already, will you stop thinking of yourselves and your ideas?! At least think of me first and how I have to suffer through your egos!

Woman: I know a debate that winds up in the original topic being forgotten when I see one, so I'll go and leave you alone to it.

Father Time: Also, people could find mathematical problems answered quickly by someone who's not a philosopher, or a historical figure, but our very own shy genius, Mr Smartypants! Though not a good inventor or creator, he's still there if anyone needs help on knowledge that the philosophers can't answer or math. Observe.

{We go to a teenaged boy, no one we know, talking with Mr Smartypants}

Smartypants: Um, all right what's this hard question you need me to answer?

Boy: Here it is, it's something I couldn't figure out in math class and still can't now. What's 4 to the 16'th power times 16 to the 8'th power times 12 to the 9'th power?

Smartypants:{Taking about 5 seconds to answer}13,747,714,944.

Boy: Wow, now if you could only invent and create things, you'd be more famous than those philosophers!

Smartypants: Doesn't anyone have any original things to say to me anymore that I don't know?

Father Time: Writing and literature were also big, and although literature has always been, it was bigger here because all the books were classics written by those classic writers of....the Legion of Superwriters!

{Cut to the Legion of Superwriters headquarters seen in the Superwriters episode}

Father Time: As you've already seen, it consisted of the greatest writers of all time, led by such writers as Ernest Hemingway, Emily Dickinson, Willaim Shakespeare, Mark Twain, and Charles Dickens.{They all show up as their names are called like in a roll call}Their works were published by publisher and part time movie producer Samuel Melman.

{Cut to the office of Sammy, or Samuel Melman as Hemingway, Dickinson and Shakespeare are in his office}

Samuel:{Reading a script and talking to Hemingway}Yes, this is brilliant! It's got action, suspense, emotion, all the things I need to approve these, but you never settle for just using enough to satisfy me, that's why I love everything you do! We'll have this published right away.

Hemingway:{Again voiced by Adam West}Thanks Sam, all in a day's work for great literature. Now, back to the writer's cave!{He runs off}

Samuel:{Reading another script}Will, Will, Will, you know I keep on expecting for you to write just one bad play since you've written a dangerously high amount of successes in a row. But I'm glad this isn't the one to break that streak! You know, this could very well make a great movie!

Shakespeare: Oh no, we're not going through that again. Remember you ruined Julius Caesar, and I'm lucky I got out of that Hollywood attitude after its success just in time. If you're going to reassure me after I said that, do it by just publishing this and not shooting it for a movie crazed audience.{He leaves}

Samuel: Geez, some people just don't know how to take advantage of money making situations. Next!{He is handed another script, this one by Dickinson. He reads it and looks annoyed}No, no, no, how many times do I have to convince you Emily that the public can't stand your depressing poems anymore?!

Dickinson: If they couldn't stand it, how come I'm still just as acclaimed as those two over there? Besides it's what I do best.

Samuel: And I'm telling you what I told that Poe guy, people don't want to read sad, depressing stories! They regard them as weak!

Dickinson: Weak? I'll show you weak!{Takes her script and reads from it}Here's a good verse."Because I could not stop for Death, he kindly stopped for me"{A knock is heard}Ah, there he is.

Samuel: Nice try Em, but I've been fooled too many times by that. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me 7 times, shame on....{he stops as he sees Death himself, not at the front door but right in back of him. He screams and passes out}

Dickinson: Thank you Death, you always know how to fool people with that. Now be a dear and get a pillow for Mr Melman so he'll have a comfy two hour nap.

Death: Okay.

Father Time: Science and inventing was also an extremely key role in the town's prosperity. Inventors like Thomas Edison, Ben Franklin and Thomas Jefferson came up with their fair share of wonderous creations, while people like Sir Issac Newton discovered brilliant theories that would reshape science itself.

{Cut to Issac Newton himself about to sit under a tree}

Newton: Ah, peace and quiet, the perfect combination to relax and maybe come up with a few new theories to reshape science forever.{Looks up at the tree}Yes, it's a pear tree, at least they're not as attracted to me as apples are.

{At an apple tree nearby, an apple falls off its branch, rolls on the ground and falls down a hill. Then it bonces on a trampoline below and rises in the air}

Newton: Hmm, I may as well do a little crossword puzzle before discovering.{Looks at his puzzle}Let's see, what's a four letter word for pain beginning with O?{As if to answer, the apple hits him in the noggin}Ouch! Ohh, my laws of gravity never cease to amaze me.

{Fade to a laboratory with many strange inventions}

Father Time: The only downside to science in the village was that it consisted of one of the two most infamous citizens in it, this one happening to be the town's lunatic.{We see Miss Info entering}

Miss Info: Hey, I'm not a lunatic, I may not be smart but I'm definitely sane.

Father Time: Not you, I was referring to him!{Now entering the room is none other than Nikola Tesla, accompanied by scary sci-fi music}

Tesla: Hello, Miss Info. Is my brain reading machine ready?

Miss Info: Yep, it's programmed just how you wanted it, sir.{We see a chair next to her with a helmet right above it}

Tesla: Good, if this works I can make this a huge success and get one step closer to purging my image as a madman.{Takes out a piece of paper}Now here is the step by step instructions you'll need to do to program it while I sit down and it reads my thoughts. Not even you could get this screwed up.

Miss Info: You shouldn't be speaking that way about me, I may not be bright, but I'm not that dim to screw your inventions up. Not doing that is why you hired me, right?

Tesla: Wrong! I was able to have your tour guide bosses transfer you from that job to work for me by using my menacing image, and I did it because having a not too bright assistant would futher prove that I am a genius, since I can do all this even with your numbskullery!

Miss Info: And the only reason I'm able to handle is because your inventions are great, if not very creepy, and I know you're only trying to help people with these, not just for your own ego.

Tesla: I'm tempted to say how wrong you are, but I'll wait till after this test goes well.{He sits down and puts the helmet on}Now activate the machine and read the papers coming out of it!{She does so and the machine revs to life. Paper begins to come out of a slot on a console nearby}

Miss Info:{Reading the paper}Hmm, here's what it says, sir. I hope nothing's going wrong, Hmm, this seems to be working well, I just hope cruel fate doesn't turn against me at the last moment again.

Tesla: Yes, those are my thoughts! It's working!

Miss Info:{Still reading}This is wonderful! Behold my genius! I am about to be vindicated for my brilliance! Ha ha ha!

{Suddenly a glitch is heard from the helmet and other disturbing noises begin to come out}

Miss Info:{Still reading}Uh oh, what's that? Gasp, something's going wrong! I've got to take this helmet off!{Tesla does so and the helmet shuts down and explodes}

Tesla: Oh no, what just happened?!

Miss Info: Maybe there was faulty wiring, you did seem in a hurry to finish it last night, you might have crossed some wires that shouldn't have been crossed.

Tesla: No, that can't be it, it must have overloaded from all my thoughts, yeah that's it.{Pause}Oh, who am I trying to kid?

Miss Info: I guess me because I'm the only other one here. 

Tesla: Ugh, that ugly last minute fate thing has beaten me again. But I swear, if it's the last thing I do, I will have the due credit I deserve.{A knock is heard}Hold on, I'll finish my monologue after I answer the door. 

{He goes to his front door and opens it to reveal Chit Chatterson} 

Chit: Hello there, Mr Tesla. Would you like to buy these revolutionary new toothbrushes?

Tesla: Look, I just failed in my latest experiment, do you think I'm concered about toothbrushes?!

Chit: But you haven't seen how great they are! If you buy them I can make it so you invented them and you'll be famous.

Tesla: When I do get recognized, I don't want it to be for toothbrushes, that's sad and weird.

Chit: Exactly, weird, that suits you perfectly!{At that Tesla slams the door}

Father Time: By the way, that was the other most imfamous citizen, the resident annoying salesman.

Chit: Hey, that's only because salesmen have always had the image of being annoying. I don't see why I need to be guilty by association.

Father Time: Whatever. Now, although these areas we've covered are fascinating, they are hardly as great as what we will see next, the government of Histeria Village. Consisting of all the greatest U.S and world leaders, it is by far the standout of the town, and it is ruled by two of the greatest leaders in history.

{Cut to the balcony of the castle, as people are looking up at an Ed Sullivan-esque man on it}

Man:{Sullivan-esque voice}And now ladies and gentlemen, the men you've been waiting to see. The co-rulers of Histeria Village, and the ones who led the U.S.A to victory in its greatest wars and have the best comedic material, I give you George Washington and Abraham Lincoln!

{George and Abe come out to much cheering, and many flashbulbs go off as they do}

George: Hey hi loyal citizens. I'm George "father of our country and leader of our village" Washington, along with my co star Abe "hey look how a guy can rebound after being assassinated" Lincoln!

Abe: Um, I thought we agreed to cut that joke out.

Father Time: George and Abe led a prosperous government, with a Senate which, as I said, consisted of every great U.S and world leader ever. Leaders like Franklin Roosevelt, Winston Churchill, Queen Elizabeth, and so many others that if I named them all I'd just take up even more time than I am now. But I will say it doesn't consist of Richard Nixon and Bill Clinton for obvious reasons.

George: And you tell me I come up with all too obvious jokes, Abe.

Father Time: Many other unique areas of leadership were in here. For instance, the newspaper is made here, complete with a newspaper censor.

{We go to a printing press and see the aformentioned censor, which is of course, Lydia Karaoke}

Lydia: No no, this story is far too dark for younger readers, this is a newspaper, everyone should read it, and we should take the steps to make sure that no one reads anything too unpleasant for their troubles. Hmm, I'll have to edit these curse words out, who knows, someone could be using this to teach their kids to read and they shouldn't have these words to start. Oh geez, I told that cartoonist to straighten up and start making these political cartoons funny and stop making our great government into a money grubbing, corruption ladled institution! I don't know where they get these ideas.

Father Time: They even had such a catagory as voice directing, where impersonations of the historical characters by Senators helped the characters make their voices better for public speaking.{We cut to an office where someone very much like Andrea Romano comes up to Franklin Roosevelt, who's at the front of a line}

Roosevelt: Miss Romano, is my voice director ready yet? My voice isn't as strong as it was a few days ago.

Romano: Mr LaMarche is ready right now sir, he has your voice down pat remember, and his use of your voice will certainly help you with your own, like always.{Roosevelt goes in and Winston Churchill is now in front}Mr Churchill please stay tight, Mr West will be here shortly for you.

Father Time: They also wanted much to learn about the future of the nation, so they also had the town resident soothsayer fill them in.

{Of course, that soothsayer is Nostradamus, and he is looking into his crystal ball with George and Abe watching}

Abe: So what do you see in that crystal ball of yours? Is it good?

Nostradamus: Please be quiet, I can't use my powers of mentalation with your chatter.{Looks into the ball}I see, I see...oh no, this couldn't be farther from good! I see the destruction of your government by a team of the evilest villains in history, led by one particularly nasty and uncool citizen here! I see the end of happiness and joy in this nation, and see in its place pain and misery!

George: I think your ball needs a tuneup, sooth. If that prediction was going to the papers, it'd certainly be censored cause it's depressing, and it's not gonna happen while we're here!

Nostradamus: I'm telling you, the ball never lies! You should listen to me, I'm right with almost everything! I prediciated that you'd win the American Revolution, I prediciated World War II! I prediciated that "Waterworld" would be a critical and box office hit and would be very cheap too!{Pause}Okay, so maybe I was a little bit off on that one

Father Time: Even with predictions like that, no one took note of it, because everyone was happy and was confident they'd be like that forever. However they did not know that in the city, someone was plotting to make sure they were wrong.

{We fade to night and go inside a dark building}

Father Time: In this house, a man who'd been kicked out of the good graces of science was now planning to get revenge by conquest. He was known as merely "The Scientist" for his ruthless commitment to science, but now he would add a word to that to suit his new demeanor. His name....The Evil Scientist.

{A crack of lighting illuminates the Evil Scientist, who is the evil man from the opening, and who is smiling evilly}

Father Time: He was a partner with all the other great scientists, but was laughed out for his laughable, but very workable theories and ideas. Now he would exact revenge. He was not really evil before this turn of events, but everyone knew he was a ticking time bomb which could go off at any time in the worst ways. That time was now.  He was helped by his assistant, Crosby, who too is not evil, but is extremely loyal and will do anything to help his boss succeed.

{We see Crosby for the first time now, he is a short, pudgy, but well dressed and apprantly cheerful man, wearing a red suit and pants with a blue tie, with hair that sticks up in front like it's been soiling in Crisco}

Father Time: However as crazy as the Scientist had become, he knew he could never overthrow the government with only his creations to rely on. So he decided that first he would rise to power legally somewhere else. He decided to run for President in the nearby nation of WarnerLand.

{Cut to a view of the government of WarnerLand, looking like it is consisting of Warner Bros and Kids WB employees, by their look and from the bad ideas they are proposing}

Father Time: To beat his opponent, Jamie Kellner, he and Crosby used every single dirty political trick in the book. Bribery, mud slinging, digging up dirt on his opposition, stealing files, any dirty trick you can think of, they did it.

Crosby: Yep, you know if we changed our names to Dick, we would very well be labeled Tricky Dick for the 21'st century!

The Evil Scientist: Let's not plagiarize, Crosby, especially not to someone who I'm considering using as an ally for our eventual conquest.

Father Time: Their tricks soon paid off, and the Scientist won the election, no one knowing it was the beginning of the end for Histeria Village.

{Cut to the Scientist giving a fiery speech in a stage much like in Citizen Kane}

Scientist: My fellow Warnerinians, today we begin a new era, an era of glory! Some people may consider us weak and not tough, but I will prove them wrong! We will be a strong nation, a powerful nation, we will revolutionize everything we can like never before, and rise to the top of the crust of nations! As God as my witness, we will never go hungry again!!{Everyone cheers, he then speaks to himself}Though the Histerians might.

Father Time: For the next year or so he built WarnerLand into a power, gaining many allies,weaponry, and military power, sometimes at the citizens' expense. But what they went through at the Scientist's orders to help fulfill his quest for eventual domination of the village would be nothing compared to what he'd do when the invasion began. And he was helped by dangerous partners, the evillest historical figures in history.

{Cut to a room filled with those historical villains}

Father Time: They were led by Soviet premier Joseph Stalin, second only to Hitler in ruthlessness and brilliance in bringing horror and torture to people. Since Hitler was unavailable, the Scientist chose him to be in charge of those special categories.

Stalin: I'm very glad I convinced him to do that, you know I've tried to purge my image as a not so nice guy. But I was so concerned with that I forgot who I really am, a power hungry, purgery seeking megalomaniac, and that suits me just fine!

Father Time: Napoleon Bonaparte, the tiny titan of France whose greed and desire to rule everything made him an obvious choice for membership.

Napoleon: Although that inexperienced scientist will be ruling, his promise for me to get everything he doesn't certainly quenched the opportunity for me to hate him for taking over some thing which should be mine!

Father Time: Attila the Hun, the tiny brute who ransacked Asia constanly in the 4'th century A.D. He and his Huns would continue to take everything under the Scientist's regime by robbing the valuables of disoebdient citizens, even some who weren't so disobedient.

Attila: Me and my Huns shall finish the jobs we did so well 1500 years ago by looting and destroying everything!

Napoleon: Terrific, now I have to contend with someone as power hungry and as tiny as me, it's not fair!

Father Time: Alexander the Great, the conquerer of the ancient world who would be in charge of conquering things. Though he wasn't in agreement of the Scientist's evil plans, he still accepted because of his desperation to be great.

Alexander: My public opinion polls only see me as pretty good, I had to do something to destroy my critics. Besides my therapist says that the best way to be great is by association.

Father Time: Iraqi dictator Saddam Hussein, who has an impressive array of weapons and bombs perfect for the society the Scientist would create.

Saddam: How could I resist with the opportunity to use these weapons instead of hiding them for years? Besides, this will give me the chance to take back Kuwait and destroy all copies of that South Park movie which couldn't get a wronger impression of me if it tried!!

Father Time: Richard M Nixon, who wanted revenge for being let out of the Histerian senate for his scandal, and who could dig up dirt better any anybody except for the Scientist himself.

Nixon: I am not a crook, but now I'm about to associate with them and make everyone pay for making me create that catch phrase. Ooh, if we fail they'll have a field day with me and solve the problem of overusing those jokes about me by making new ones!

Father Time: And finally, creepy 19'th century writer Edgar Allen Poe and his sidekick, the Raven. He joined this group to destroy the Superwriters once and for all, and the Scientist wanted him to turn all of literature into dreary sad books as part of his plot to eliminate everything good and happy in town. Poe would be associated by his long time partners Sappho and Basho, who would do their part to destroy writing forever.

Poe: To quote from the movie based on Mario Puzo's terrific book which I will turn into a tale of the Corleone family being tortured and haunted by the ghosts of the people murdered by them, they made us an offer we couldn't refuse!{They all laugh}

Scientist: Excellent my friends. With this crack team of villains, nothing can stop us from making happiness and joy in Histeria Village be...Mr Raven, if you please.

Raven: Nevermore!{The villains laugh}

Father Time: Finally the time came for their invasion to begin, and the villagers were about to get the shock of their lives.

{Cut to the village, as sounds of people marching are beginning to be heard. The villagers look towards a hill and then see that marching into the village is an incredibly huge army of soldiers, highlighted by the Scientist and his allies}

Scientist: This is an all too obvious way to begin the invasion, but I couldn't think of anything else so I'll say...attack!!

{Half the soldiers run into the village and start wrecking things while the other half opens fire on the villagers. Attila and his Huns are ransacking everything much like the Vikings, and Napoleon is taking everything he can and saying "Mine!" everytime he does so. Saddam pulls out a huge grenade lancher and opens fire on various houses, destroying them instantly with his big weapons. Inside the Superwriters building, they are all puzzled at what's happening until the door opens and Poe and his cronies walk in}

Poe: Hello Superwriters. Don't look so shocked at seeing us, we've been gone so long you should have been prepared for our return.

Hemingway: I don't know what you're up to Posey, but you won't succeed.

Poe: Tell that to my new friends.{They step back to reveal another group of soldiers}Amazing what good help you can get with the right connections.

Basho: I still say that army is too long!

Sappho: Save it for books and for them.{The evil writers and soldiers close in on the scared and doomed good writers. Back outside while the carnage is continuing, the Scientist and his soldiers are marching toward the castle. Saddam gets out another launcher and aims it at the front door, then fires. It explodes and the army runs inside}

George:{Watching the army's arrival}Whoa, that soothsayer was right! Hey Abe, what do you say we try to break the world record in the, well, however long distance it takes to get out of here?

Abe:{Already running}If you want to break it you'd better hurry!{They run, but then many guns are heard cocking and they turn to see the army behind them}

Scientist: Hello George. Hello Abe. I believe you have something that belongs to me.{We fade to a scene where the army is leading all the famous world leaders out of the castle}

Father Time: Even if they were prepared they wouldn't have stood a chance against the array of soldiers the Scientist's partners had put together. Though none of the leaders were killed because they already had been dead to begin with, they were never seen in the village again.

Nostradamus: Didn't I tell you guys to listen to me?! Now you're paying the price for not doing so, I feel hurt and vindicated!

Abe: Can you save it until after they banish us?

Father Time: As the Scientist looked on at his success, he had no idea that right now he would meet the ones who would lead him to his downfall.{Loud crying is now heard, and the Scientist cringes}

Scientist: What is that annoying crying?!

Crosby: Well it's not from the people you hurt sir, it's from there.{He points to a room labeled "Nursery" The Scientist walks in and see 8 crying babys just like Big Fat Baby with banners}

Scientist: Who are these little people?

Crosby: Looks like they're kids of some of the world leaders and/or senators sir.

Scientist: Who are their parents, and did I send them out yet?

Female Voice:{Very much like Laraine Newman}No, you didn't!{He turns and sees 3 woman and 1 man entering, looking very much like Cree Summer, Tress MacNeille, Laraine Newman and Jeff Bennett}

Crosby: I know who they are, they're those voice directors for the leaders and they're in the Senate too.

Scientist: Hmm, if I know my democratic laws, I recall hearing that any child of a Senator will become one him or herself when they quit or pass on. These are heirs to the Senate! If I get rid of these people the babies will eventually be Senators, and could very well be a big problem if they find out what I did to their parents! I can't take that small but possibly big chance.

MacNeille lookalike: So, I guess that means you'll have to let us go.

Scientist: No! I'm going to get rid of you, then send these babies far away from here. I'm not that heartless to throw them on the street at their age, so I'll send them to the orphanage where they'll have no knowledge of their connections here, then when they're 5, I'll shut it down and send them to the streets then!

Summer lookalike: If you think we won't stop you from doing that, you're dead wrong!

Scientist: You can't if you're not alive to do it. I shall take their names, which are written on their banners, down just in case I meet up with them again.{Begins writing the names of the babies}Hmm, Aka Pella, Charity Bazaar, Cho-Cho, Lucky Bob, Toast, Pepper Mills, Froggo...{he sees that the last baby has no name on his banner}Hey, why doesn't this one have a name?

Bennett lookalike: Well we used up all our cleverness in coming up with those other names, so we haven't found one for him.

Scientist: Well, that gives me the opportunity to use my newest invention.{He pulls out a high tech weapon}The Personality Giver! With it, I can give anyone an extremely annoying personality trait which will make everyone shun him or her. Since he has no name and therefore no identity, I'll give him a very infamous one. But which one will I give him, exactly?{Thinks}Ah ha, of course! I'll just give him what any little boy automatically has!

{The Scientist turns a knob, then points the weapon at the baby, and pulls the trigger. A bright blue light covers and surrounds him for a few moments, then disappears}

Scientist: Yes, it worked! Now for the piece de resistance.{Pulls out a pencil and begins writing an unseen name on his banner}From this day forward, he will have a name that fits very well with his new personality. Now Crosby, take those parents away and get rid of them, then come back and get these babies to the orphanage. And when you do that, you may want to bring earplugs, the effects of the machine could take hold sooner than we think.

{Crosby leads the protesting parents away. The Scientist follows and when he leaves we see the name
he gave the baby: Loud Kiddington}

Father Time: With that the final stage in the invasion was complete. Now he would begin his plan to turn the entire village into a horror show. Like any villain in power, he started off by turning the government into a self serving organization and his unfair laws seemed certain to ruin the country. He was hoping that would happen, because if the country went broke, he would use that as an excuse to take everyone's money away and leave everybody poor. But things didn't go the way he planned.{Cut to the Scientist and Crosby in a throne room}

Scientist: What do you mean the ecomony is doing well?!!

Crosby: I'm telling the truth sir, the money supply here is doing strongly still. I guess George and Abe left it in very good condition. You should be happy, at least you don't have to worry about keeping it high after you just arrived in power.

Scientist: Crosby, my main goal here was to make everyone miserable. And a key way to get people miserable is to take their money away. Having the country bankrupt would give me the chance to do that, but it's not happening. So if you think I'm happy right now, guess what? YOU'RE DEAD WRONG!!

Crosby: You didn't have to yell, you already caused enough of that with your baby test subject.

Scientist: Well I will continue to do that until I find a way to trick those villagers. There must be some way to sink the economy.{Suddenly brightens up and smiles}Of course! We don't need to sink the economy, we just have to pretend it's sunk!

Father Time: So the Scientist and his partners took all the money the country had and hid it underground where no one would ever find it. The next day he called a press conference, and with the proof of an empty safe convinced everyone the country was broke. Therefore, he ordered that everyone would have to give away as much money as they could to make the country wealthy again. And instead of just issuing taxes, he sent Napoleon to take the money, which he did all too well.

{Cut to the house of Thomas Jefferson, who opens his front door and looks down to see Napoleon}

Napoleon: Hello Mr Jefferson. Remember when I let you have the Louisana Territority? Well now the time has come to give me something back, your money!

Jefferson: I already did that when you gave me the territory. Sheesh, a guy like you can't be satisfied. But because of your connections, give me a second and I'll get it.{He goes over to one of his dumb waiters and searches for some money}

Napoleon: Hurry up, I have several more houses to collect money from, money that will soon be mine, mine, mine!

Jefferson: Technically it's not yours, it's the Scientist's, he'll want it from you when you're done.{Gets several doller bills out of his invention and hands it to Napoleon}

Napoleon: I know, but I want to savor the few moments when it is mine! I and the government thanks you for helping return it to wealth and power!{Runs off in a hurry eager to continue his collecting}

Jefferson: Gee, if height was judged by how selfish you are, he'd be 10 times taller.

Napoleon:{V.O}I heard that, you user of obvious jokes!

Father Time: Soon everyone had given their money to the Scientist's regime, and not many were happy about it. It was only then that they realized that it was all a trick, and that he was rich, and they were not.

Scientist:{Swimming in a pile of money and singing to the tune of "We're In The Money"}I'm in the money! A lot of money! I'm rich and powerful and those peasants are not! Ha ha ha ha!!

Father Time: That was the beginning of the end for the village. Anything that could bring citizens happeness was quickly gotten rid of. If anyone did anything objectionable to the government, Stalin had them purged away. With no money, scientists that were still good guys quickly lost the tools they needed to invent things. And writing as they knew it was taken away by Poe and his writers.{Cut to the Superwriters building, now dark and rancid as Poe and his goons are rewriting everything}

Poe:{Laughing}Oh, this next one's gonna be really fun to ruin. "The Old Man and the Sea" by my old buddy Hemingway. A classic before, but let's see how everyone likes it when I turn the giant whale into a giant raven and have the sea become a death trap of rotten, damp despair!!{Laughs again}

Basho: "Gone With The Wind" is too long! Should be only 17 syllables! Die!!{Chops the novel into many pieces}

Sappho:{Reading comic books}This isn't really literature, but I just can't pass up the opportunity to see Catwoman throughly beat the tights out of Batman!!{All the evil writers laugh once more}

Father Time: Their work was truly a testament to what the Evil Scientist and his friends had turned Histeria Village into.

{Fade to nighttime as we see a snowfall fall over the now ruined village, then fade to daytime as eveything is covered with snow}

Father Time: We now begin the main part of our story 10 to 12 years after the Scientist's takeover. We've covered every way in which he made things bad for everyone, except for what he did to the main characters of our story, the kids whom he threw out all those years ago.

{We fade to a small wooden shack and see the shadows of what appear to be the aforementioned kids}

Father Time: True to his word, the Scientist closed the orphanage they lived in when they were 5, and they had been living on their wits all the years since.{We now pan away from the shadows of the kids to see the kids themselves}They had no knowledge of their connections to the government and the Scientist had not seen them since he threw them out, but if he did, he would have been pleased with what he saw, particularly with the one he had the most influence on.

{We now see with the kids a very familar little boy with brown hair and a green shirt}

Father Time: The Scientist's invention had worked perfectly on this kid, in fact it worked far too perfectly, for like all other kids, he was noisy, but thanks to the Scientist he was 100 times worse. That's why the name Loud Kiddington was a fitting choice for the Scientist to choose.


Froggo: No it doesn't, because that big fat baby hasn't been here for a few days or so.


Aka: We know, we know. It's just our luck we had to be born at the same time that evil scientist dude came and took everything over. Rumor has it that our parents were killed at the time of his conquest too, though I don't know if we can believe that since we don't know who they were.

Toast: Even so, that evil guy is still very nasty! Just when I find rock music as an interest he has to take it away cause it's a source of happiness. That guy needs a serious chill pill!

Pepper: You're right, this whole nation should be fun, I mean we get to see all these great people everyday that have done so many wonderful things, but seeing them sad and downridden from what he's done really lessens the thrill.

Lucky Bob: I don't mind all this.


Lucky Bob: Because we get to play in the snow all the time! It snows all the time and if we were in real homes we wouldn't have all these chances. Playing in snow is fun fun silly willy!

Cho-Cho: Well, even if we were still in the orphanage you'd still be in the snow a lot, since they always threw you outside whenever you asked for more food.

Lucky Bob: Those were very nice people, weren't they?

Froggo: I guess, but even if they weren't I wouldn't mind because at least we'd have a roof over our heads which wouldn't be built by us to help us not be so down and cold.

Aka: I think we should stop talking about these depressing things, it's no wonder she's the living embodiment of it.{Points to Charity}

Charity: Well you can't really blame me for that, and I'm certainly not the only one who's not happy all the time. The only ones not unhappy are in that castle.

Froggo: You can cheer up for a little while, I have great news. I finally finished our sleds.

Toast: What? You mean we can finally do something in snow other than have snowball fights?

Cho-Cho: Yep, the Scientist may have chopped down almost every tree in the woods for firewood, but we were lucky to get the parts he forgot to retrieve.


Aka: Well, there's one of the few times we can't blame you for yelling, this is a great opportunity.


{Cut to an area covered entirely by snow. There are many hills and on top of the highest ones, the kids are on wooden sleds belly first}

Pepper: Whoa, I certainly hope we have good steering, this won't be easy.

Charity: Please don't say that, this may be our only source of real fun if this works, let's just not think about it.

Froggo: She's right, let's go!{He uses his hands to gets closer to the edge of the hill and he goes down}

Lucky Bob: Yes now, we're going on a sled ride!{He goes down the hill}

Toast: Radical! Dudes, look out below!

{He goes down and the rest soon follow. They are able to steer in different parts of the hill, and are able to escape flying off it when they go down the next one. They appear to all be having great fun. There are two more hills above the ground, and they all use their steering to go down the first of those in different places. Right now they are almost at the bottom of that hill and are about to go down the last one}

Loud:{Even louder than usual since he's really excited}THIS IS GREAT, WE'VE FINALLY FOUND AN ESCAPE FROM DEPRESSING REALITY!!!!!

{Everyone reels from his yell, so much so that they forget to use their hands to slide down the hill, instead they fly off it, all except for Loud. Worse, the 7 sleds flying are heading for 4 jagged rocks. They all jump off their sleds and escape damage, but the sleds either crash into the rocks or are impaled in them, either way all the sleds are broken. Loud finally joins them holding his sled}


{Everyone turns to Loud with very angry expressions on their faces. They move towards him menacingly, grab his sled, and destroy it on the rocks}

Aka: There! Now you know what it's like to lose a sled, we didn't want you to feel alone!

Froggo: I found those pieces of wood from the destroyed forest and there's pretty much none left. We'll never have the wood nessecary to make more now!

Aka: And I wonder, whose fault is that?!

Loud: UM, YOURS?

Toast: Agh, that is so totally wrong, that's more like something Lucky Bob would say!


Aka: We wouldn't have been so distracted if it wasn't for you! You ruined our only chance for real fun amidst all the evil in this town!

Pepper: She's right, it was already hard to tolerate your voice before, this is gonna make it harder.


Pepper: Hey, I only yell when I'm excited, you do it all the time!

Aka: All right, let's not all try to top him for highest volume. Let's go back to the shack.{To Loud}But I warn you, you haven't heard the last of this.

{Cut to the inside of the wooden shack where everyone is there except Loud}

Aka: I'm telling you, I can't stand Loud anymore! I can't stand having to hear that booming noise of his everyday!

Froggo: Well at least he never did anything with it except annoy us, now I must admit he crossed the line this time. He destroyed all my work!

Aka: Exactly! And I'm not overreacting over this because anybody on Earth would feel the same way if they had to hear him all the time. Worst part is, you'd think that if he was a real friend, after he realized how loud he is he'd try to stop, but he hasn't stopped at all and shows no regard for our annoyance toward it!

Cho-Cho: Well, I think we are being a bit too quick and harsh here, but your basic point is correct.

Aka: I know. I'd like to know who here supports him and is going against what I'm saying?{Charity, Pepper and Lucky Bob raise their hands}Pep, why are you raising your hand, he just insulted you for your big mouth.

Pepper: I know, but having that kind of vocal capacity makes me understand how hard it would be to stop, except mine isn't as much. Say, I'd like to know how he has such volume in the first place!

Toast: Whoh, that is a brain teasing puzzle, dudette. If we ever find out who gave him that, remind me to send him to outer space for it!

Charity: Now you are all being way too harsh and mean, that's why I had my hand up. It's not his fault he has that kind of voice.

Aka: But it's his fault for not controlling it's use. Who here thinks we should throw him out of here now?!

Charity: You're acting like a one dimensional person here that only wants him out. Besides, when we do discuss that, we all agree doing that would be a heartless thing, since we can't bear to leave him all alone out there.

Aka: You're right. Okay, I'll drop the subject now, but I'm telling you today he made it a bit less heartless to do it. Let's go get some rest.

Charity: I'll join you soon, I'm going to go get the remains of the sleds and see if they can make good firewood for us tonight.

{She leaves the shack to go outside, but then sees Loud running away. She then decides to follow him and he eventually stops at a tree, staring at the sky in deep thought and sadness}

Charity:{Coming up towards him}I knew you wouldn't be able to resist hearing what we said.

Loud: Sigh, I suppose you're going to criticize me for my voice too?

Charity: No I won't, didn't you see me supporting you?

Loud: You did? I didn't see, I was too busy reeling from their hurtful but true comments. Until today I never realized what I've done to them. They hate me.

Charity: They don't hate you, they just hate your voice.

Loud: YES, AND THEY'D HAVE GOOD REASON TO ALSO HATE THE PERSON RESPONSIBLE FOR IT!!{Stops}I'm sorry for that. Sigh, I never asked to have this kind of voice, I never wanted it to cause all this today, but...it's just so hard to stop yelling, it's like an addiction that really takes a hold on you after doing it for so long. I'm surprised I'm not yelling at you now.

Charity: I know, but I'm not referring to that last part, I know that it would be hard to quit and that you really meant no harm.

Loud: I must have turned away while you were supporting me as I said, then I turned back and heard Aka talking about throwing me out. Charity, could you answer this question truthfully please?

Charity: Sure, go ahead.

Loud: How often have you guys talked about throwing me out?

Charity: Well, I guess the suggestion started 2 years ago, it's been brought up 5 times since then, 6 counting today. This time your non supporters had the most ammunition.

Loud: And...why aren't you one of them? Why didn't you agree with them and hate me for my voice?

Charity: It's a bit hard to explain, so I'll just say the simplest reason. It's because they're being extremely harsh and they're only judging you because of your voice. They can be so shallow at times, and I don't want to believe that they are entirely correct for acting that way towards you. You may be loud, but you're not a bad person, that's all I know, and you're not trying to annoy us.

Loud: No, that's the last thing I want to do, especially since you guys are the only family and friends I have, but I suppose I don't have many, if any actual friends left after today.

Charity: Well, I'm going to head back to the shack and get the sleds' remains for firewood, you can come in any time. But remember, if you need any support or need to know if you have any real friends, I'm right here to give it to you. You have at least one friend left, Loud, remember that.{She goes away}

Loud: I can't believe it, she's supporting me! After today, I thought the people that did that were down to zero. Suddenly I feel very lucky.

Father Time: After realizing that, Loud decided he would have to try to conquer his yelling problem. Unfortunately this would be very hard, while meanwhile back in the village there were other people with almost similar tough problems, like Mr Tesla for instance.

{Cut back to Tesla's lab. He appears to be working on another version of his death ray. Mis Info comes up to him}

Miss Info: Sir, the special dinner you had your do it yourself robots do is getting cold.

Tesla: I have no time to eat, I finally got everything correct for my greatest triumph, the death ray! It took me 4 years to build those robots you mentioned because of that scientist taking all my money away, and after 6 years of toil, this wondrous machine will finally be ready! I've already drawn a very good first target, a drawing of the reason it took this long.{We see the ray is pointing to a cardboard drawing of the Scientist. Outside his house, Alexander the Great is talking with Richard Nixon}

Alexander: Well you think you had it rough, I had to deal with something even greater than scandal, my father. I've tried so long to live up to his greatness, that's the only reason I joined this evil organization. The Scientist has fixed things and "convinced" people that I'm great, but having them do that because of his orders makes it feel so shallow.

Nixon: Hey, any publicity is good publicity, that's why I'm here!{Notices Tesla's death ray from his window}Gasp, what's that big thing?

Alexander: Maybe he's planning to use it to overthrow us! I mean, that Tesla guy already is crazy, we may have pushed him over his limit.

Nixon: Do you have a lockpick with you, because the only way we'll find out for sure to break in his house.

{Alexander gives him a lockpick and he is able to pick the door's lock. He then creeps quietly into Tesla's lab and looks at the documents he has on his desk}

Alexander:{Whispering}Hey, isn't this sort of like how those guys you hired broke into that hotel?

Nixon: Shh! This is already embarrassing enough!

Tesla:{V.O}What's that noise?! Great, I'll have to wait a few more moments for my victory.{He then goes into the room Nixon and Alexander are in. They are able to hide and then they go into the room containing the death ray. They gasp at what they see}

Miss Info:{Cheery}Hello! Hey, don't I know you people?

Nixon: What is that cardboard drawing of the Scientist doing facing that death ray?!

Miss Info: He's planning to fire at it to test his ray, why do you ask?

Alexander: Cause we know the Scientist very well, and he specifically stated not to thwart anything against him or any likeness of him.

Tesla:{Entering the room}Who are you talking to, Miss Info?{Notices the two other historical figures and gasps}What are you people doing here, I paid my taxes already! Whatever you want, could it wait a minute, I have a test to do.

{Before he does that, Alexander pulls out his sword, opens a panel in the ray's control console, and uses the sword to cut the wires, deactivating the ray}

Alexander: Sorry, but it couldn't wait. You should know that the Scientist doesn't like when people do this sort of thing, firing at a likeness of himself, he hates people doing that especially.

Tesla:{Livid}The Scientist isn't here, why doesn't he come here and take it up himself??!!

Nixon: We hate it when people do that too, since we're his allies.

Tesla: Why in blazes do you keep listening to that guy and doing everything he says?! Don't you realize what evil he's doing and that you're doing evil too since you're both not evil?! Well, then again I don't know about Nixon in that department.

Nixon: Why you! You're taking a trip to my list, pal!

Miss Info: Why did I know he was going to say that?

Nixon: If Mr Stalin was here, he'd purge you far away for this. But instead we'll just take that ray and lock it up so no villagers can use it. Hey, maybe he'll praise us for getting something that could be useful to him. And we'll take that cardboard too so you don't rip it up after we leave. Good day.{They take the ray and cardboard and leave}

Tesla: UGH! Did they have to make it worse by foiling my idea before it got carried out, I hate when someone outsmarts me! There's another reason why you're my assistant, Miss Info.

Miss Info: Do you really need to make the both of us feel unhappy?

Father Time: With that comic relief established, now let's get back to the main story. Over the next few days Loud tried to control his yelling, but as he said, it was a hard habit to break and he didn't do it as well as he hoped. Fortunately everyone else was trying to forget the sled incident and didn't bring it up. But that goodness paled in comparison to a horrible bit of bad news. In the next few days, Charity was beginning to feel extremely cold, even when the door and windows were shut and the fire was on. Everyone thought it would go away, but this feeling stayed for 2 whole weeks. Finally they went to a nurse to see what was the matter.

{Fade to a nurse's office. The kids are all inside and then a nurse walks in, not Hello Nurse, but rather Florence Nightingale}

Florence: Okay, the test results are back in, and they are very rare.


Florence: All right. Charity has a very rare case of coldness. The best we can determine is because she has been exposed to the bitter cold so much these last 5 or so years and since it's cold almost all the time here, the cold has entered inside of her, and lowered her body temperature significantly. Her insides are beginning to freeze too. And before you ask why it's taking effect now, it's because it only does this after a certain amount of time, and that time has arrived.

Aka: So the thing is her body temperature is way down and her insides are freezing.

Charity: Sounds like it, it's warm here apparently but I'm still freezing inside.

Froggo: What can you do for her?

Florence: The only thing we can do is an operation. We can go inside her and rework her insides so she'll be less frozen, then she'll return to normal soon enough. However, here's the bad news. An operation like this costs a lot of money, about 150 bucks, and I assume that you kids don't have it.


Florence: I wish I could, but since we have to earn every cent we can thanks to the Scientist's penny pinching, we have to charge full price for everything. And if it isn't done soon, it could turn really bad.{Pauses to think and whispers}Would you like to hear a reason why I really think this happened?

Toast: Go ahead Nurse Nightingale, like Loud said, don't keep us in mondo suspense.

Florence: Well, in cases like this the patient has to be around a very very high amount of cold to have this thing. And I've heard rumors about why we've had so much cold recently. The amount of cold and snow has gone up very much so since the Scientist took over, and rumor has it he did it himself by building a Weatherizer machine to make it be cold and snowing all the time so there wouldn't be any sunny days, and you know how he doesn't want anything bright and sunny here. So the reason there was so much cold may be because of him, and it may be the reason why your friend has this condition.

Loud:{Slow and angry}All right, let me get this straight. You mean to tell me that my friend is in this condition BECAUSE THAT EVIL MANIAC UP THERE CREATED SO MUCH COLD WEATHER TO ELIMINATE BRIGHTNESS AND SUNSHINE, AND IS THEREFORE THE REASON WHY SHE'S IN THIS CONDITION, IS THAT WHAT YOU'RE SAYING?????!!!!!

Florence:{Very much shaken by that outburst}No, I'm just saying that is a possible reason, not a certain one. Though it seems very logical because of how evil the Scientist is, he would do such a thing like that.


{Loud storms out in a demented rage and marches himself towards the castle. He makes his way to the front door where a guard stands in his way}

Guard: Hold it little boy, you can't come here without the Evil Scientist's permission.


Guard:{Dazed}All right, go on in.

{Loud storms in, and through a monitor, we see he is doing to another guard what he did earlier, and the dazed guard lets him pass. We see Crosby is viewing this, and he then runs inside the throne room}

Crosby: Sir, sir, where are you sir, we have trouble!{A shadowy figure comes up behind him}

Scientist's Voice: Oh really?{Crosby turns around}

Crosby: Ah! Oh, hi sir, you certainly know how to make an entrance.

Scientist: That I do. So, what's that trouble you were referring to?

Crosby: Come with me and I'll show you.{They walk out of the room towards the monitor}This little boy is intruding on our property, and apparently he's getting past the guards by yelling really loudly. This makes me glad there's no sound on these things.

{The Scientist is paying no attention to him, but is looking at the monitor intensely, and after seeing Loud yell loudly at Joseph Stalin, who's blocking his way, he realizes who it is}

Scientist: Oh my goodness gracious, it's him!

Crosby: Who's him? Are you expecting anyone?

Scientist: Crosby, remember those babies we got rid the day we took over? Do you remember when I gave one of those babies an extremely loud voice?

Crosby: Um, my memory isn't as great as yours, so I'll take your word for it.

Scientist: That's him, that's Loud Kiddington! And apparently his voice is destroying the guards and Stalin's hearing!{Laughs}It worked, my invention worked! Now he has a voice 100 times higher than the loudest voice of any kid!

Crosby: He's certainly angry, do you think he knows about what you did to him?

Scientist: Hmm, well if I don't meet him we can't find out, and I can't afford to have any more guards have their hearing destroyed. Let him come in here so I can meet my prized test subject.

Crosby: Yes sir.

{At the front door of the throne room, a slightly calmer Loud opens the door, and comes forward to see the Scientist's throne turned around, its back facing Loud. It then turns back forward and we see the Scientist sitting in it. At seeing him, Loud lets himself calm down some more, since he knows he's facing a man who can do him in very easily}

Scientist: So, I finally get the chance to meet the little kid who's given our guards and Mr Stalin a good reason to buy hearing aids. It is a pleasure.


Scientist: No need for that, I know who you are, Loud.


Scientist:{Wanting to hide his previous confrontation with him}Um, well you have quite a reputation in this town, and I don't think I need to tell you what that is for. Even if I didn't know that, I could have easily guessed your name was Loud for those same obvious reasons. But I prattle on. Tell me, why are you here?


Scientist: So you're going to believe their questionable word just like that? You shouldn't think I'd do that just because of my reputation, I'm just interested in lessening happiness in people, not weather.


Crosby: He's got you there sir, you have to admit. Maybe you should spare yourself a day long argument and just admit it.

Scientist: All right, I suppose no one will revolt if word of this gets out, so yes I built that machine and did all that. And yes it was part of a plan to eliminate all sunny days which failed when the machine overloaded. But please try to understand my point of view here. I'm not someone who acts like a big jerk for the sake of being a big jerk, I have my reasons! I gave my life to science, and loved it more than anyone possibly could, and they threw me out of it's good graces because of my "laughable ideas!" I did all this to exact revenge on them and the town they gave their equally laughable inventions to! I was shunned by science and that's why I've done all I did! I would have figured you'd know a thing or two about being shunned for a bad personality trait.

Loud:{Knowing that last comment is right}Um, well maybe, but still I have one more complaint about what you've done. Because of your weatherizer machine, my friend Charity Bazaar is in bad medical shape! She's been exposed to so much cold for the last 6 years and because of the increase in cold by your weatherizer, her insides are frozen, her body temperature is below normal, and she needs an operation we can't afford!

Scientist: Well that's technically her fault for being outside so often.

Loud: She, myself and all our friends are orphans, we go outside a lot to get away from bad reality. But your weatherizer has put her in grave danger!

Scientist: Well, at least now the number of orphans in our street will be decreased, every town needs a decrease in those numbers.

Loud:{Angry at his insensitivity}BUT THAT DECREASE WOULD BE FROM DEATH IF NOTHING IS DONE!!{Calms down}All right, I'm not going to get angry. I know that you can have me done away with in one second, so instead of giving you motivation to do it, I'll just ask one simple request. Since we can't afford a $150 operation for Charity, could you possibly give us the money?{Crosby breaks into hysterical laughter}

Crosby: Him, give you money?{Laughs loudly}He takes money, he doesn't give it. If it was me I'd probably give you the money, but it's not me and since it's him and he's greedy...

Scientist: Silence, I'll handle this. But what you are saying is very true. I worked very hard to take everyone's money, and giving it away, especially to save someone's life...I really don't think you grasp the concept of my job. I am a greedy, evil tyrant as everyone says, I'll be the first to admit, and therefore what you're asking me to do is something I can't provide.


Scientist: What part of _no_ don't you understand?

Crosby: But sir, you technically didn't say the word no.

Scientist: Shut up and let me finish! Besides Loud, why are you so concerned for her? I'm sure your "friends" including her, are narrow minded and hate you because of your voice, which any normal person would, but don't want to say anything or throw you out because they're too weak hearted, am I right?

Loud: That's almost entirely right, how did you know?

Scientist: I'm right? Well, that makes my point better! So answer my question now, please.


Scientist: How do you know she's on the level? How do you know she's not just showing pity on you and only supporting you because she can't bear to see everyone hating you? You must admit, it's very hard to succeed in both looking beneath your voice and truly caring for that side at the same time. My guess she's pretending to succeed.{Loud gives no reply}I think that's a good enough note for you to leave now.{Pulls out a walkie-talkie and speaks in it}Joe, Saddam, if you're fully recovered from the kid's blast, get earmuffs and take him out of here.

{Fade to later on, as Stalin and Saddam Hussein are escorting Loud out}

Loud: You really have no right to do this! You two usually give orders not take them, doesn't it bother you that he can order you around?

Stalin: At times, but it's made up for the power over the military he gives us. It's allowed me to find a new pal in Saddam here, we have a lot in common.

Saddam: That's right, we both are co leaders of the military, we love spreading terror, and we also share the idea that you should leave now! Good day, loud mouth!{Loud is tossed out of the castle. He then gets up and looks at the balcony above him which the Scientist is on}

Scientist: I advise you to think about the last part of our conversation! So long!{He leaves. Loud then hears echoes of the Scientist's accusations about him and Charity's support, then he hears echeos of Charity showing her support from earlier}

Loud: No. No, I'm not going to believe what that man has told me! I'm going to believe that she really supports me, and what I know for real is I need to find some way to pay for that operation!

Father Time: For the remainder of that afternoon he tried to find jobs and opportunies to get that $150, but he found that all of them wouldn't give him that instantly and by the time he got that amount of money, it may have been too late. The fastest way to get it was from the Scientist, and he wouldn't help at all. He then decided he'd have to take drastic measures to get it from him, and he took it that very night.

{Cut to nightfall. We now hear a tune very much like the Mission Impossible theme music acompanying Loud as we see him go up to the front door of the castle, taking out a lockpick, and unlocking the door. He then heads inside, then sneaks behind a few tables to avoid being seen by a guard guarding another door. He then creeps up behind him and then, like in "Better Living Through Science" imitates an ambulance siren, then runs away before the guard sees him}

Guard: What was that?! Hmm, maybe one of our soldiers is injured, if I find out there is and save him or her, the boss will be so proud! I'd be crazy not to go.{Before he runs off, Loud comes back behind him and grabs the keys in his pocket, then the guard runs off}

Loud:{Quiet}Good, with these keys, it'll get me in this hall and into the vault where he keeps all his money. I'll have to steal $200 instead of $150, $150 for the operation, and $50 for ourselves. This really would seem like a desperate attempt to get their approval if they knew about this, but I don't have a choice.

{He opens the door with the keys and heads down a hall. In another part of the castle, which looks like a security room with a control console full of monitors, Stalin is talking with Saddam}

Stalin: I'm telling you, you'd be more feared as a dictator if you did what I did to establish my reputation. Kill all your enemies using secret police and famine, that's why I'm regarded as the second more feared tyrant in history. Though it makes me a little upset I only got chosen for this job because the number one tyrant was unavaliable.

Saddam: Well torture and famine aren't my thing, my specialty is my big powerful weapons, which unfortunately I had to hide so often from those nosy inspectors. You should have built some of those bombs.

Stalin: Hey, it's not my fault it got invented a few years before the end of my regime.

Ominous Voice: Well, nice to see you guys here.{We see it's not the Scientist, but rather it's Poe}

Saddam: Oh, it's just you Mr Poe. What are you doing here?

Poe: Just came to get some stuff from my latest rewrite. Do you guys need any donuts?

Stalin: Hey, we're not real security guards despite this console, the Scientist just wants us to look at these monitors to spy for troublemakers.

Poe: Oh well, if you said yes it would have been a good setup to decribe my latest book, but I'll decribe it anyway. It's about a security guard who has to face killer donuts that have come to life.

Saddam: That sounds more like science fiction and not the usual creepy stuff you do.

Poe: Did I mention the guard is living a tortured life and the center of his torment is untasty donuts and that because of that the whole killer donut thing is in his head created by his torment?

Stalin: Yes, that's more like you.{An alarm goes off}The alarm, someone's broken into one of our rooms! What capitalist trickster would do that!

Poe:{Looking at a monitor that shows Loud inside a vault full of dollar bills and gold}Looks like a little boy to me.

Saddam:{Gasps}It's that loud little brat! Call the Scientist and if he's not awake, call Crosby!

{Inside the throne room, a groggy Scientist walks with Crosby towards their monitor}

Scientist: Those guys had better have gotten me up for a real emergency, I hate being wakened from a deep sleep.

Crosby: You hate almost everything, but I'll tell them to show us what it is.{Talks in a walkie-talkie}Put the image of the situation at hand on our monitor.{The monitor turns on and we see Loud in the vault}

Scientist: Him again! It's not enough he has to ask for money, now he has to steal it!{Growls}Tell them to show a security tape of how he got in if they can!

Crosby:{Into the talkie}Guys, do you have a security tape of how he got in?{Pause}Then show us, please. Well, it's a good thing I finally had sound installed in this, now if he says anything, we can hear it and maybe we can use it to our advantage.

{The monitor then switches to a tape of Loud entering the castle, then tricking the security guard. We also now hear him saying his plans. The Scientist thinks for a moment after hearing this, then grins devilishly}

Scientist: Crosby, is that tape real and did he actually say that stuff?

Crosby: Apparently he did, sir.

Scientist: And by any chance do we have any kind of machine that contains every word in the English language, and can we program it so it sounds like Loud is saying any word we program it to say like so many cheap cartoon commercials?

Crosby: You're asking if we can dub his voice in, like in commercials? Of course we can, remember WarnerLand had tons of technology to do that, they did it all the time!

Scientist: Wonderful. Tell Mr Stalin and Mr Hussein to capture him, but tell them I want him alive and not in Siberia! Sometimes it's so hard to get them to do that. Then tell them to bring me that security tape right away!

{Back in the control, Stalin and Saddam are getting their orders}

Stalin: Drat, I don't understand why he doesn't want me to purge him, I mean he's breaking into his hard stolen money bank, something must be done!

Saddam: And I say that what must be done is we don't let him live to tell other people how he got in so others don't follow his lead.

Poe: You two are so one dimensional, all you want to do is purge people and use big weapons. I on the other hand am far more cleverer. Observe.

{He goes over to a nearby table, where on top of is a yellow cage containing Poe's beloved raven who's sleeping}

Poe: Oh Mr Raven, wake up.{He does}I have a job for you, go over to the money room and use your scary talents on the little boy inside. Make sure he'll be in possession of our money....

Raven: Nevermore!{Poe unlockes the cage and the raven flys away. Back in the vault, Loud has finished collecting the $200}

Loud: Well that's everything, time to leave.{However before he sets out to go, the lights are turned off.
Now it is pitch black, and now fluttering sounds are heard entering the room}

Voice:{Low and scary}Nevermore!

Loud:{A bit scared}Hello, is anyone in here? This is a joke, right?

Voice: Nevermore!{All Loud can see are two eyes flying all around. The eyes then arrive right above him, and the the lights are turned back on....and what Loud sees is the raven, on top of his head and staring right at him}Nevermore!

Loud: AHHHHH! RAVEN!!!!{The raven tries to bite him, but Loud runs. The raven then gives chase}HELP, RAVEN!!! HELP, RAVEN!!!! HELP, RAVEN!!!{The raven chases him right out of the vault. He then runs to the door of the hallway and opens it...but then sees Poe in front of him}

Poe: Ah, I see you met my pet, frightening isn't he?{The raven lands on his shoulder}But that fright is nothing compared to the fate you're headed for!

{He steps back to reveal Stalin and Saddam. They then come up towards Loud, their images filling the screen, then we cut to the throne room where they are holding Loud, and the Scientist has the $200}

Scientist: I am greatly disappointed in you, Loud. You just don't know when to take a hint, and reverting to stealing! I thought you had higher morals than that.


Scientist: I haven't thought of a punishment yet, so I can't fulfill that request. But I should be adding blame to you two, Joe and Saddam, your yakking probably prevented you from spotting him getting in the castle and in the hall in the first place! Luckily that silent alarm heard only in the security room alerted you of his presence in the vault.

Stalin: You should have installed those alarms for both those places we forgot to check.

Scientist: We'll discuss it later, but right now I have to run some errands outside. You two keep an eye on him.{He walks out of the throne room and is met by Crosby}Crosby, is the tape finished and altered like I asked?

Crosby: Yep, it's all finished and done perfectly. They're really going to be fooled when you show them this.{Gives him the tape}

Scientist: I'm sure they will. You help those two guard Loud while I go out and hand him a fate worse than they could ever give out.{He pulls a cart nearby holding a TV and VCR and heads out of the castle. Fade to outside, as the Scientist is now away from the town, then he spies the wooden shack}Hmm, could that be a place for them to reside?{Froggo and Toast come outside}

Froggo:{Without his hat on}Ah, I knew I left my hat out here.{Picks it up and puts it back on}

Toast: Aw rats, Froggo dude, you ruined my question about why you were out here.

Froggo: Well Toast, you should be quicker to ask.{They go back in. Nearby, the Scientist pulls out a piece of paper with all the kids' names on it}

Scientist: I knew writing this list of their names all those years ago would be useful. It confirms they're in there.{Pulling the cart, he heads to the front door and knocks. Lucky Bob answers it}

Lucky Bob: Yes now?

Scientist: Hello little boy, may I come in?

Lucky Bob: No now! We don't let strangers in.

Scientist: I'm no ordinary stranger. I'll give you a hint about who I am, the initials of my name are E.S.

Lucky Bob: Um, Edward Scissorhands?

Scientist:{Ticked off}No! If you'll look closely, unlike him I have no hair, and more obviously I don't have scissors for hands, look!

Lucky Bob: Those could be plastic hands used to cover your scissors.

Scientist: You think? Well, I would have the resources to do that if I had to...hey, wait a minute, don't confuse me!! I am the Evil Scientist, the ruler of this village, and I demand to be let in!{The other kids, sans Charity who's not in the shack, see the Scientist and bow down to him}

Aka: Please, forgive him sir, he's an idiot.

Cho-Cho: Have we done anything wrong, we had to because why would you be here visiting kids like us?

Scientist: First off, stop groveling, it makes it look like you have no dignity.{They do so}Second you did nothing, I only came to talk to you about someone who did. I met your, shall we say, acquaintance Loud Kiddington today.

Pepper: Yeah, we assumed you did cause he was pretty angry the last time we saw him and he said he'd take it up with you.

Scientist: You do realize I said he was your acquaintance because I found out you really don't like him.

Toast: Nah, we just hate that gnarly oversized mouth of his.

Scientist: And that's perfectly normal, any sane person would. But it is my sad duty to give you reason to hate him more.{Pulls out the TV and VCR and puts them on a table}He came back to the castle tonight, and it wasn't for a visit. It was so he could steal money from our royal vault!

Froggo: Well, maybe he had a real good reason, there are a lot of people who'd like to do that to get back the money you stole from them.{The Scientist glances at him menacingly}I'll shut up, sir.

Scientist: Good. And also your opinion is wrong, for with this security tape I captured him giving reasons that aren't what you thought them to be.

{He puts into the VCR the security tape and we see Loud stealing the keys from the guard}

Loud:{Quiet}Good, with these keys, it'll get me in this hall and into the vault where he keeps all his money. I'll have to steal $200 instead of $150, $150 for{he does not say Charity's operation, but the words he says next are dubbed in, like so many KWB commercials, and matches perfectly with his lip movement}me, myself, and I, and $50 for{dubbed in}myself. This really would seem like a desperate attempt to get their{dubbed in}hatred if they knew about this, but I don't have a choice.{The tape stops}

Scientist: Well, there you have it.

Aka: I, I don't believe it, that greedy son of a gun!

Cho-Cho: Are you sure that's real?

Scientist: Of course it is, it's not dubbed in since the voice is right with the lip movement, and if you think I got an impersinator to do that you're wrong, because who in the world could I get that's loud enough to do that perfect siren impersination other than Loud?

Pepper: No one. So, he was going to use the money for himself only? That is greedy!

Scientist: I know, he could have used the money to pay for his friend's operation, and also to get you guys money for once, but that tape proves without a doubt that he didn't! By the way, which one of you is Charity Bazaar?

Froggo: She's not here, she went out to get stuff for us, though I don't get why she'd want to be exposed to the cold and add to her sickness.

Scientist: Well once she hears of this it'll convince her to stop supporting him. And you should hate him more for this. He also likely was motivated by your hate to do this, he was probably blinded by it so much that he decided to cut you all out. And all you did was show hate to something he had that deserved to be hated, he should have known you would the first time he screamed, but he continued and look what's happened now!

Aka: That's what I've been saying! This whole thing is starting to make me really mad now!

Scientist: Good, cause I have him in custody now, and I'm going to head back home and release him. Once he gets back your best option is to get mad at him.{Picks up the TV and VCR and puts them back in the cart}A pleasure meeting you all, good day, or night in this case.

{He leaves pushing the cart. Cut to later on as he reenters the throne room}

Scientist: Well my business outside is done. Loud, you are now free to go.

Stalin: What?! But aren't you going to punish him?

Scientist: Isn't spending time in your presence scary enough?{This gets to Stalin and he blushes. He and Saddam then let Loud go}


Scientist: Please don't suspect me for doing a good thing, you're lucky to be given this reprieve! Get out now before I change my mind!

Crosby: But if you change your mind, your plan won't{The Scientist glances at him in a look that seems to say "Go on and I'll kill you"}never mind.

{Taking a hint, Loud leaves. Fade to later on as he walks toward the shack. He opens the door and sees everyone looking at him very angry, Charity is still not there}

Aka: Loud, you have only 5 seconds to explain yourself before you get a taste of your own medicine.

Loud: What? Could you tell me what I did first to get said taste?

Toast: You don't need to play dumb dude, we know where you've been and what you've done tonight.

Loud: Oh, you know. I figured you'd be happy when you found out, there are lots of people that would like to break into that vault.

Froggo: Could you tell us why we'd be happy at hearing what you planned to do?! We know you planned to steal that money and keep it for yourself to be greedy!


Cho-Cho: From the Evil Scientist himself. He showed the security tapes of you saying you'd steal $200, $150 for "me, myself and I" and $50 for "myself"

Loud: Security tapes said that?!{Realizes what happened}OH MY GOODNESS! THE SCIENTIST DUBBED OVER THOSE TAPES LIKE A CHEAP COMMERCIAL!!

Pepper: No he didn't, you said that stuff yourself, there was no evidence it was dubbed in. Tell us, was it mainly because you hate us for hating you for your voice that you didn't want to share the money?


Froggo: If that was true you wouldn't have said you planned to spend $150 for yourself.


Aka: I wish we could believe that.


Pepper: We already gave you what we know, and what we know is enough to make us ticked off.

Cho-Cho: We could try to tolerate your voice, but tolerating someone greedy who didn't plan to spend money on a friend and his other friends but for himself, we can't do that.

Aka: She's right. We can't stand you anymore, we gave you as many chances as we could, but they're all gone now.

Loud: What, what are you saying?{He backs up from their advances and is now outside}

Aka: We're saying....get out and stay out!!! We don't want to see and especially hear you again! Good bye Loud Kiddington, and I must say whoever named you must be a genius!

Lucky Bob: So long, oh not so wise one.

{The dooms slams in Loud's face. We now see this scene through the P.O.V of a telescope, then cut to the balcony to see the Scientist watching the scene, with headphones on his ears}

Scientist: It worked, ha ha ha! And it's a good thing I came up with those headphones so I could hear her calling me a genius.

Saddam: I still don't understand why this is worse than death or purgery.

Scientist: He's a sentimental fool, being rejected for good by his friends would affect him more than anything you could give out. Now we, especially I, can sleep soundly knowing yet another person has, thanks to me, had his life destroyed.{He walks back inside laughing}

{Back outside, Charity is approching the shack carry what appears to be a grocery bag, then stops when she sees Loud staring shocked at the shack, then he turns and runs away. She then decides to follow him again and stops when she sees him lying in the ground and sobbing}

Loud:{Sobbing}This has got to rank up there as one of the worst days anyone could possibly have!{Sobs harder}But I guess I've done enough to them to make them believe those tapes of me saying that I broke into the Scientist's vault to get $200 for myself and not my word that I did it to help Charity. I guess this is me getting what I deserve!{Continues his sobbing}

Charity's Voice: Well, I wouldn't exactly say that.{Loud turns to see her}

Loud: Charity? I was wondering where you were, why weren't you in the shack?

Charity: I went to get some things, and here I am coming back to see your plight. I heard what happened to you just a second ago.

Loud: Before you accuse me, please try to understand my pleas! He altered those security tapes to make it say that I stole it for myself, I tried to tell them but apparently he did it too well, and....

Charity: You don't need to go on, because I believe you.

Loud: You, you what? You believe me?!

Charity: Yes, because the Scientist would be nasty enough to do that, and I know how adept he must be at altering tapes because he first took over a country very talented at doing that. Plus I know you're not greedy, you're far from it. But this I definitely need to know. Are you saying you tried to steal from his vault and did all that...for me?

Loud: Yes I did. I wanted to get you the money you need to get that operation because you're the only one that supported me and I couldn't bear to see you suffer. Even if you didn't support me I probably would have done it, because even if you hated me, I refuse to hate you. Stealing was the only way to do it.

Charity: I can't believe you did. That's really illegal, but it's also the sweetest thing anyone's ever tried to do for me. I never knew you cared that much. Ooh, those guys are so narrow minded they make me mad sometimes, if they'd let you explain they'd feel how I feel, really touched.

Loud: All right, now _I_ need answers. I need to know one puzzling question. Why are you being so nice to me? Why don't you hate me for my voice like the others?

Charity: Earlier I said that answer was a bit hard to explain, but now it's not. It's because underneath that voice you're a really nice guy. I don't judge people merely by looks or in your case, your voice, I'm not narrow minded. They are, and look at them and how they rant on. You don't deserve the kind of things you're going through, no one does. Besides, I've known you for years and I don't see any other major flaws in you besides your voice. It could be worse, you could be loud but very nice, or totally evil like the Scientist.

Loud: You really mean that, you think that's all true?{She nods}You know, the Scientist tried to tell me your previous support was only out of pity.

Charity: And you're going to believe his word over mine?

Loud: Yeah, that does sound silly. I think we've discovered two people's niceness here, you proved mine, and through that you've proven your own. I don't understand how you can be so trusting and loving towards me while everyone else isn't.  

Charity: Like I said, I am not that judgmental. I'm just sorry I never said this stuff I've said tonight earlier, maybe I could have done something with it to help but now it's too late.

Loud: No, please don't blame yourself. I don't want to play the blame game, but if the fault lies on either
you or me it's me, because you've already helped.

Charity: But I should have done more, I only really spoke out my feelings that one time before now.

Loud: Please stop, because one, you're placing blame where it shouldn't be placed, and two...because you're making me feel more bad that I didn't succeed in helping you tonight.

Charity: You're feeling bad enough as it is, so just don't think about it. We'll find the money some other way.{She shivers}

Loud: Well I do know you should head back home, you don't need to be exposed to even more cold.

Charity: Very well. When I get back I'll try to make the others understand what I learned tonight, but until then{She searches in her bag and pulls out an old blanket and pillow}Lucky Bob requested I find this, but I can always say I didn't find anything.{She gives the blanket and pillow to Loud}Good night.

Loud: Good night, and thanks again.{She walks away shivering}This is both the best and worst thing that could happen. I still have one friend left and she turns out to be a really good one, but she's still sick and there aren't any other ways to make her feel better other than tonight's debacle. There must be a way to fix everything.{He then looks up at the bright blue, star filled sky for a long moment}Well, I guess it's time to resort to the tactic everyone eventually goes to at their wits end.

{He looks up at the sky intensely and begins to sing to the tone of "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star"}

Loud: Twinkle twinkle little star,
Help me find the Wishing Star.
It's my last resort, you see,
Because I've fallen in misery.
Let me explain in this little song,
It's a spot even bigger than King Kong.

The Evil Scientist ruined my life,
Now I want some light in sight.
Let there be forgiveness around the bend,
Give me the power to save my friend.
Wishing Star please hear my plea,
Come down and stop my misery.

{He stops singing, then looks up again and sees everything is still normal}

Loud: Terrific. If I succeeded in bringing the Wishing Star down here it would have arrived by now, but it hasn't, so I failed. Figures.

On to Part 2
On to Part 3

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