Is it true? Did Bowser just obtain the Nintendo crown from Reggie Fils-Aime? Having failed to take over the Mushroom Kingdom multiple times, the Koopa King has gotten wise and gone over Mario’s head, conquering Nintendo of America itself! Next stop: Japan, and then the world!
Actually, Reggie is leaving Nintendo voluntarily, and the man replacing him, Doug Bowser, just happens to have a coincidental last name….but we all know it’s really THAT Bowser in a rubber human suit. As disguises go, it’s not bad, but only Bowser would come up with a sloppy alias that actually includes his real name.
“Nintendo owns a part of my heart forever,” Fils-Aime said upon departing. “It’s a part that is filled with gratitude — for the incredibly talented people I’ve worked with, for the opportunity to represent such a wonderful brand, and most of all, to feel like a member of the world’s most positive and enduring gamer community. As I look forward to departing in both good health and good humor, this is not ‘game over’ for me, but instead ‘leveling up’ to more time with my wife, family and friends.”
Reggie was most known for his brash attitude and for being a master of spin, confronting tough questions from the press while simultaneously guarding Nintendo’s tightest secrets from their hungry ears. You were never getting any answers from Reggie, but darned if he wasn’t entertaining to listen to.
“It has been my great fortune to work with and be mentored by Reggie for four years at Nintendo of America,” Bowser said in his first statement as president of NOA. “And rest assured, we will continue to build on his work to evolve and expand our brand, furthering Nintendo’s global mission of creating smiles. There are millions more of those to come.”
He then added, “FOR ME! HA HA! Nothing will make me smile wider than the live Chain Chomps I’m inserting into your kids’ Lunchables! Also look forward to Piranha Plants popping out of manhole covers when you least expect it! I’ll make all you fanboys PAY for repeatedly drawing me as a woman!”
Reggie Fils-Aime had a long and successful career at Nintendo starting all the way back in 2003. He’s guided the American branch through good times and bad, and we’ll all miss him. Especially after the Koopa invasion conquers DC.