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The New Iron Man Is An Iron Woman

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As Marvel winds down Civil War II, its latest ETWCEFUTNESMFN (Event That Will Change Everything Forever Until The Next Event Six Months From Now), it’s dropping hints about the new shake-ups and revisions that await when the dust clears. The most intriguing of these? Iron Man turns into a 15-year-old black girl.

How’d that happen?

  1. YO HO HO HE TOOK A BITE OF GUM-GUM
  2. Tony Stark is sucked into a vortex that takes him to the DC universe and Lois Lane’s old race-changing machine from an infamous early 70’s storyline. He steps in it and turns it on, then he’s sucked back to the Marvel U.
  3. This isn’t Tony at all, we knew that all along, and we just wasted a minute of your reading time.

This plot twist comes about due to Tony Stark doing typical Tony Stark things and putting himself out of the superhero game for a while. Brian Michael Bendis, current writer of Invincible Iron Man, explained the situation in an interview from TIME:

We’re in the middle of a very big Tony Stark storyline—actually three storylines converging. His best friend died, his company is collapsing and he’s finding out who his biological parents were all at the same time. That’s stressful for a character who is wired the way Tony is wired and has dependency issues the way Tony does.

Tony is also a master at not paying attention to the thing that’s most important and distracting himself with Avengers stuff. How that all shakes out such that Tony is no longer in the armor? You’ll have to wait to find out for the end of Civil War II. But it does create a path for Riri Williams, who Tony will know and will be interacting with very shortly in the comics.

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Riri Williams has just been introduced, so we don’t know much about her — but we like what we do know (especially the hair). Riri is a teenage genius whose intelligence surpasses that of even Tony — fortunately, she does not share his egotism or love of the booze. When Tony gives up the fight, she hammers together her own Iron Suit and takes to the skies as Iron…..Person.

What we don’t know at the moment is if this is really her hairstyle, or if it’s what happens via static electricity every time she takes the helmet off. Whenever this mystery is solved, we’ll send you an update.