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Johnny Test Will Never Die

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After the nuclear apocalypse, only three things will survive: cockroaches, concrete, and Johnny Test. That little brat is absolutely unkillable, and if you doubt me, consider this: brand-new episodes of the show are set to debut on Netflix next month. It’s not a reboot. It’s not a reimagining. It’s MORE episodes of Johnny Test in its unchanged form, because as Johnny might say, “how can you mess with perfection?”

For those of you somehow unfamiliar with Johnny Test despite being online right now, Johnny is to animation what Bubsy is to video games: he has his fans, but there’s a far larger crowd that only gets delight in dunking on him. The character was the last gasp of the Poochie approach to children’s entertainment — the theory if your main character was a totally edgy and radical dude, you could shortchange everything from the animation to the writing and no one would care.

Johnny Test is an in-your-face adolescent boy with a talking bipedal sidekick dog and two genius sisters, Susan and Mary, who are constantly tinkering with gadgets and gizmos and testing them all on him. Johnny never minds this because the experiments often give him temporary powers, or do something else he can mess with. Johnny’s arch-nemesis is Bling Bling Boy, a richly festooned Bond Villain kid who crushes on his sisters. Susan and Mary, however, are completely stuck on their neighbor Gil, to a psychotic degree — I remember an episode where they rigged up an invention to turn themselves into cats, in hopes that Gil would pet them. Yikes.

Meme-wise, Johnny Test is best known for its overuse of the “whipcrack” sound effect, probably spammed because the animation was so cheap that the characters would often flip from one pose to another, and the best way to disguise that was to make it sound like they moved so fast they cut the atmosphere in half. Over 100 episodes were made for Cartoon Network before the series began quietly fading away…but Johnny was only hibernating. There was a web-exclusive revival last year, and now this, a full-fledged comeback.

Pan-Pizza is quoted as saying, “Someday Adventure Time and Regular Show will end and Johnny Test will still be making episodes.” People doubted his words at the time, but the prophecy has now been fulfilled. This dumb cartoon will outlast all of us. Johnny Test debuts new episodes on Netflix July 16.