Gilda And Meek And The Un-Iverse (PG-13)

[Christopher Glennon]

What did you think of the Return Of Jafar reference? It's one of the funniest jokes I've ever written, and I said to myself sadly "Nobody will actually get it. Except Chris. This joke is basically for him."

That joke definitely made me chuckle.

I have Gilda and Bernadette pick on Augatha unfairly because it's subversive. I'm basically making Gilda and Bernadette the bad guys in their relationship which is provocative. At one point I was like "You know what, this might be a bad idea because it makes them both look so bad." But after awhile I was like "I am perfectly willing to make Gilda and Bernadette look bad." They are NOT perfect characters, and I'm not going to water down or gussy up their personalities to make the reader like them more. It's totally in character they both suck about this one thing.

I don't think it makes them look that bad, I mean, it is Augatha, and them not being perfect is a good thing.

The sitting around and watching TV elements of The Un-Iverse are just as integral to the franchise as the so-called adventures. I would argue they are even MORE relevant, because despite their jokey nature, they are where the actual character development can be seen. Comic book fans are NOT The Un-Iverse's target audience and nowhere is that more clear than the fact that half of The Un-Iverse is basically the characters farting around with each other.

I really like the fact that you have sort of a comic strip sensibility (as opposed to comic book), and that certainly came out in the One Shots and Tales issues. I liked the Piranha vs. Raggleworth traps short, it makes them unique, but the way the TV stuff was placed in this issue made me sort of say "Get on with it already".

The Un-Iverse does not as a rule engage in tropes where characters switch bodies or temporarily get into situations like that that have to be put right by the end of the issue like Gilda becoming a Dog. All of the characters are in their set personas and situations throughout the entire series' run (although I WILL be using the power switching trope for ONE issue in Lace Doilies). Mostly it's for the characters to always be responsible for their own actions.

I didn't mean for them to actually switch, I just meant if we would ever see, say, Meek speculate what Gilda would be like if she were a dog or he a cat.

This is the problem with each issue being a chapter. The Piranha DOES ask the Man in Pajamas the Riddle soon enough, and there is actual fall-out from that. Because there is fall-out from that character being asked, it was the wrong place for the Piranha to ask it. And the real reason he doesn't ask is the same reason he can fly the spaceship. He can SENSE there is fall-out coming, and isn't ready to deal with it. It's easier for him to randomly ask the Riddle of people he can guess they don't know it. On some very real level, he doesn't actually want to know the answer. The thing he wants most is also the thing he wants least.

That's really interesting, and definitely hinted at when Piranha confronts Augatha. I like that he has to know but dreads the answer. I didn't get it from this instance, though, it just felt like it wasn't important to him.

More issues...

Once again, I'm digging these UnComix Tale Interludes. You have a large universe, it works as catching breaths between arcs. And since Gilda and Meek are present in these, I prefer them to One Shots. That isn't to say I didn't enjoy the Howler and Narf-Narf and Chirp stories, those were fun.

Bad parent or not, Meek would have been a total wet blanket if he had said no to Bernadette's Halloween adventure. The fact that ghosts have such a mundane weakness that is part of Halloween culture makes sense in a funny way. And since Donna Demented was present, that story still had its horrific aspect.

Warlocks Beyond Reality arc - I'm glad we're getting back to Meek's vanishing power and having thosee nightmares, that was a definitely a thread I wanted to be followed up on.

Do we need multiple names for BS detector (everyone seems to call it that)? It didn't occur to me Gilda would know something is up with Meek and Bernadette after the baseball bat incident because I didn't think it works that way. The Narrator mentions Bernadette hates and loves Gilda, so isn't that her standard mood, as established by Augatha's truth spear? Would Gilda necessarily know something was up with Bernadette now? Gilda knows Bob is untrustworthy but is still telling the truth. It's more than just detecting BS, there are intuitive and empathic powers as well. Bob kind of looks like Thwomp from Mario Bros.

Gilda is really terrible around children, and she makes things worse for Bernadette by giving in to her inner rascal and Bernadette is scared by what she saw in the dungeon. It's also messed up when Gilda says nobody likes her.

The Warlocks arc improved Meek's character for me by leaps and bounds, and I can finally put a finger on what I like about him and what he brings to the table. Meek is the character you like rooting for. Gilda you can't really root for in the same way because it's established that the Universe loves her and you get a sense she'll come out on top, while Meek seems insignificant in comparison. It's actually kind of like Gilda is the Superman and Meek is the Jimmy Olson. I love seeing the fact that Meek's character and skills are put to the test when he is completely in over his head. He has learned a lot from his time adventuring with Gilda.

I like the Tick reference with the Moon, but it was distracting in many of the panels (particularly the ones that are supposed to be closer shots).

You mention in the Linear notes that days and nights on the Plain are shorter, but I'm having trouble following the sequence of events because you have A) Meek's mission B) Augatha with the Psycow C) Gilda and Bernadette at Mt. Crushmore and D) Vic Puff's election. Is Augatha asleep for that entire time Meek has been on the plain? Many days pass during this. We see later Bob talking about time travel, but how does that work with Meek and Augatha's situations?

I kind of hate that Gilda and Bernadette oversleep. They're in a very dangerous place, and they have communication with Raggleworth for support, so couldn't they have set an alarm or kept him in the loop or something?

The Balls-Out Void was cool. You may say it's nothing special, and it has been done before, but I really like the art.

Having Bernadette react to the tastes and pop culture of an older generation is a great use of the character, but I need to go on a little tangent here. In the Linear notes you say that objectively speaking Futurama is better than the Simpsons and Gilda could rather break somebody else's bones than admit that. While it's perfectly fine to prefer Simpsons over Futurama or vice versa, they are both amazing shows, there really is no way to judge them objectively. Basically it's debatable and comes down to personal preference, and I think it's odd that Gilda felt so threatened or even frightened by Bernadette's rant about Generation X and their tastes. Bernadette knows a lot but she hasn't lived through much, she doesn't know what it's like to witness firsthand something like, say, cassettes and mixed tapes being replaced by playlists and iPods. I feel like when she says something along the lines of Quantum Leap being the best Gilda's generation can do, Gilda's response would be to smile and say "Get back to me when you're my age looking back on today." Society and pop culture are ever growing and evolving, and Bernadette may be advanced, but kids' personal tastes and sensibilities change too.

How big is Augatha? I always thought she was taller and even bulkier than Meek, but in many of these panels, they look the same size. I do like the new expressions you've given Augatha here, we haven't really seen her this distressed. At the same time, I love the look on her face when she beheads the Psycow.

Great use of the Narrator with Meek bringing Augatha to the top of the cliff. It's sad when Meek realizes he and Augatha have been through a traumatizing experience and he
still has to throw her off the cliff.

You suggest Meek taking the hand from evil Meek, but I'm wondering if Meek could have taken zombie Meek's hand. Either before or after he became a zombie?

Is there some sort of OWL Gilda or someone needs to pass to go from Novice to Sorceress?

Finally, I have to bring up the shipping issue because this arc changed the way I saw Meek in a certain respect. Meek and Gilda always struck me as platonic, even when they were at the club and even when Gilda had Meek put on that underwear to send to Augatha (I thought it was just a gag, but you do have a point about it being sexually humiliating). The thing is, this story CLEARLY establishes Meek as a being with sexual desires. In this arc you have Meek react pleasantly to seeing alternate versions of him and Gilda being romantic, him alluding to having a favorite activity with his left hand, and his sexual tension with Augatha. There are clear parallels with his relationship with Gilda and Augatha here, they even have a heart to heart conversation (does anything end up coming from that, by the way?) . I can see Meek and Augatha taking a "Whatever happens on the Whahuma Plain, stays on the Whahuma Plain" attitude, but if I start seeing Meek as having an unrequited crush on Gilda, I'm going to start feeling sorry for him in a way I didn't think I was supposed to based on how their friendship initially formed.

 

[Fone Bone]

I didn't mean for them to actually switch, I just meant if we would ever see, say, Meek speculate what Gilda would be like if she were a dog or he a cat.

That's sort of like a white person talking to a black friend about what they would do if they switched races. It is very racially insensitive. Ironically that IS the kind of thing Gilda and Bernadette would bring up with each other.

That's really interesting, and definitely hinted at when Piranha confronts Augatha. I like that he has to know but dreads the answer. I didn't get it from this instance, though, it just felt like it wasn't important to him.

Not everything I write is effective. I can only do the best I can and hope it lands.

Do we need multiple names for BS detector (everyone seems to call it that)? It didn't occur to me Gilda would know something is up with Meek and Bernadette after the baseball bat incident because I didn't think it works that way. The Narrator mentions Bernadette hates and loves Gilda, so isn't that her standard mood, as established by Augatha's truth spear? Would Gilda necessarily know something was up with Bernadette now? Gilda knows Bob is untrustworthy but is still telling the truth. It's more than just detecting BS, there are intuitive and empathic powers as well.

I love raising questions about how the b.s. detector works because even Gilda herself doesn't fully understand it. Sometimes she seems to think it gives her more far-reaching powers than it actually does. She also cannot fully tell when she's b.s.ing herself. The Piranha will later note that ultimately the b.s. detector comes down to empathy. She's a lot like Counselor Troi if Troi wasn't always either wrong or ignored.

Bob kind of looks like Thwomp from Mario Bros.

Bob was originally supposed to look a lot like Groundskeeper Willie. I was unable to keep that design because I did not have the skill to draw it consistently, so this is the next best thing.

The Warlocks arc improved Meek's character for me by leaps and bounds, and I can finally put a finger on what I like about him and what he brings to the table. Meek is the character you like rooting for. Gilda you can't really root for in the same way because it's established that the Universe loves her and you get a sense she'll come out on top, while Meek seems insignificant in comparison. It's actually kind of like Gilda is the Superman and Meek is the Jimmy Olson. I love seeing the fact that Meek's character and skills are put to the test when he is completely in over his head. He has learned a lot from his time adventuring with Gilda.

That's a fair assessment.

I like the Tick reference with the Moon, but it was distracting in many of the panels (particularly the ones that are supposed to be closer shots).

It IS distracting. But it's funny. So it is what it is.

You mention in the Linear notes that days and nights on the Plain are shorter, but I'm having trouble following the sequence of events because you have A) Meek's mission B) Augatha with the Psycow C) Gilda and Bernadette at Mt. Crushmore and D) Vic Puff's election. Is Augatha asleep for that entire time Meek has been on the plain? Many days pass during this. We see later Bob talking about time travel, but how does that work with Meek and Augatha's situations?

To be honest, the timing is a little wonky, but it's definitely less wonky than you are saying it is. The Narrator always saying "Meanwhile" is a story conceit, not a literal statement, because time moves differently in both places. The Vic Puff election stuff is occurring at the same time as Gilda's stuff, but Meek and Augatha's timeline is entirely different. And Augatha wasn't exactly asleep for five days. She was unconscious for that long and in total agony.

You mentioned in one of your earlier reviews that Augatha struck you as superstitious and cowardly. The reason I bristled at that is because after what happened with the Psycow, Augatha went back to his hide-out to confront and kill him. That is the mark of a very brave woman, and a very unusual way to deal with the trauma she suffered. That's how she works crap out. Vic Puff is definitely a cowardly villain. Augatha is actually quite brave.

I kind of hate that Gilda and Bernadette oversleep. They're in a very dangerous place, and they have communication with Raggleworth for support, so couldn't they have set an alarm or kept him in the loop or something?

Because they idiots. Because they think they are luckier and savvier than they are. But they're still alive, right? They still got the Idol, right? The reason you forgive dumb that behavior is because they are ultimately right that they didn't need to set an alarm in the first place.

The Balls-Out Void was cool. You may say it's nothing special, and it has been done before, but I really like the art.

Thanks. I'm glad you thought so.

Having Bernadette react to the tastes and pop culture of an older generation is a great use of the character, but I need to go on a little tangent here. In the Linear notes you say that objectively speaking Futurama is better than the Simpsons and Gilda could rather break somebody else's bones than admit that. While it's perfectly fine to prefer Simpsons over Futurama or vice versa, they are both amazing shows, there really is no way to judge them objectively. Basically it's debatable and comes down to personal preference, and I think it's odd that Gilda felt so threatened or even frightened by Bernadette's rant about Generation X and their tastes. Bernadette knows a lot but she hasn't lived through much, she doesn't know what it's like to witness firsthand something like, say, cassettes and mixed tapes being replaced by playlists and iPods. I feel like when she says something along the lines of Quantum Leap being the best Gilda's generation can do, Gilda's response would be to smile and say "Get back to me when you're my age looking back on today." Society and pop culture are ever growing and evolving, and Bernadette may be advanced, but kids' personal tastes and sensibilities change too.

Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris. That is what is known as an opinion. I am well aware not everyone will agree with it. But I don't need to couch every opinion I say (such as that Futurama is objectively better than The Simpsons) with "I could be wrong." That goes without saying. Moving on.

How big is Augatha? I always thought she was taller and even bulkier than Meek, but in many of these panels, they look the same size. I do like the new expressions you've given Augatha here, we haven't really seen her this distressed. At the same time, I love the look on her face when she beheads the Psycow.

That is what is known as a mistake. Scale is a tough issue for me. I might have been inclined to change it and make Augatha properly bigger than Meek, which she is, except I nailed her facial expressions the first time out, and I didn't want to risk making them worse on the second pass-through. If I didn't find her expressions heartbreaking, I would have risked it to make the technical aspects of the comic more accurate. As it is, I put more value on their characters' emotional states rather than their accurate sizes. The thing about a lot of The Un-Iverse's artwork that you need to understand is that a LOT of it is suggestive rather than literal, because I'm not a great artist. If and when the saga gets published and redrawn by a professional, these things will no longer be an issue.

Great use of the Narrator with Meek bringing Augatha to the top of the cliff. It's sad when Meek realizes he and Augatha have been through a traumatizing experience and he
still has to throw her off the cliff.

The constant refrain I hear from people who start out the saga is "I like the characters and concept, but the Narrator is super annoying." But it's because of moments like that that I have him. I cannot picture that sequence without him and he has a ton of upcoming great moments like that. I can't picture the story without him either.

You suggest Meek taking the hand from evil Meek, but I'm wondering if Meek could have taken zombie Meek's hand. Either before or after he became a zombie?

I can't get into it right now because it involves spoilers. But actually ZomMeeks WILL appear in the story eventually in the stories "Twin Meeks" (which is coming up soon) and, yes, "Planet Meek" which is the fourth to last issue of "The Terran Wars". Let's just saying that wasn't a viable option for Meek. As for the right hand to take, there WAS a specific reason Meek took the hand he did, whether he knew it at the time or not. It will be further explored in "Timeline Trilogy", and pretty much fully explained in the third issue of the five part finale to the Mistress Augatha Arc "All Blood Things: Step Three: Late Night Conversations And Other Equally Important Occurrences." But that's all for later.

Is there some sort of OWL Gilda or someone needs to pass to go from Novice to Sorceress?

The magical level classifications are highly subjective. Mistresses and Warlocks are so rare that they can be pretty easily classified, but the lines between Novices and Magicians and Sorceresses are very thin. Probably because magic evolves over the centuries, and has evolved faster and more in the past thousand years than at any point since the Gragnocks and Lapinians existed on Earth. If Gilda time traveled to a thousand years ago, the specific things she is able to do would have her classified as a Sorceress easily. Possibly even a Mistress. She is more magically powerful now than Augatha was in that timeframe. You wonder why nobody thought to use the healing spell on Zyle as he was dying in The Pontue Legacy? It hadn't been discovered yet. Magic has existed for millions of years but some of the biggest advances are really recent on the cosmic scale of things.

Finally, I have to bring up the shipping issue because this arc changed the way I saw Meek in a certain respect. Meek and Gilda always struck me as platonic, even when they were at the club and even when Gilda had Meek put on that underwear to send to Augatha (I thought it was just a gag, but you do have a point about it being sexually humiliating). The thing is, this story CLEARLY establishes Meek as a being with sexual desires. In this arc you have Meek react pleasantly to seeing alternate versions of him and Gilda being romantic, him alluding to having a favorite activity with his left hand, and his sexual tension with Augatha. There are clear parallels with his relationship with Gilda and Augatha here, they even have a heart to heart conversation (does anything end up coming from that, by the way?) . I can see Meek and Augatha taking a "Whatever happens on the Whahuma Plain, stays on the Whahuma Plain" attitude, but if I start seeing Meek as having an unrequited crush on Gilda, I'm going to start feeling sorry for him in a way I didn't think I was supposed to based on how their friendship initially formed.

This is going to take a little bit of time to respond to. But I owe it to you. And I have PMed you that I am possibly going to send you the future issues via attachments through email, but Meek's sexuality does come up again, and yes there will be a significant other for him. In fact, the first part of Warlocks' Beyond Reality, the Warlocks, who exist out of time, mention that Meek has a wife in the same breath as Gilda, which means the wife isn't Gilda, and yet is someone historically significant. But yes, Meek IS going to eventually get a significant other. But it won't be Gilda.

And I love the idea that you misread the idea of Meek loving the idea of a Universe where he and Gilda are a thing. He loves the idea unreservedly not because he wants to get with his version of Gilda, but that there's another Universe out there where they did and they're happy. It's a nice moment for him that he doesn't actually want for himself.

Why? Gilda and Meek are completely unattracted to each other for totally superficial reasons. We aren't ever going to witness a ship for Gilda, but I will say that although she's straight, she prefers strong men. Not a man stronger than her, which is good because they don't exist, but she needs a person who will keep her on her toes a bit. Meek, as much as loves and respects him, is kind of a wimp. He would not challenge her in the way she would need from a significant other.

As for Meek, Gilda is off-limits to his libido for one very simple reason: She smells bad. Not all the time, and it's not her fault, because she's not actually gross or unclean, but it is a deal-breaker for him. This is a value he and I actually share.

It's not to say feelings and curiosities never come up at all. They aren't attracted to each other, but I think Gilda is far more curious about Meek as a man than Meek is about her as a woman. She has definite questions in her mind that she would never ask him because she knows it would make him uncomfortable, and even angry. But she has a very strong sense that he is probably amazing in bed, and is curious why that is. But the idea of Gilda and Meek's sexual curiosity is that if Meek ever asked her for sex she'd say "Why not?" If she asked him, he'd say, "No."

So don't worry about an unrequited crush on Meek's end. That is not something he feels at all.

 

[Fone Bone]

Chris, here is an essay I've written about rules of Magic in The Un-Iverse, followed by one about the classification levels.

RULES OF MAGIC IN THE UN-IVERSE

There are none. Seriously. I've never gotten why every single instance of magic in popular culture always uses it as a cautionary tale and saying that it always comes with price (see Once Upon A Time) or that there is good magic and the Dark Arts (see Harry Potter) and that you should stay away from the latter. They ARE aware that magic is fictional, right? And that as fiction they have no obligation to restrict themselves for no reason?

There IS no good or evil, light or dark magic in the Un-Iverse. Magic is a TOOL, not a morality stick. You can use it to kill, or you can use it to make the world a better place. Magic doesn't care what kind of person you are deep down. Magic doesn't judge. You do something horrible with magic, that is on YOU, and not some dark force taking over your body.

Why don't more people use magic in the Un-Iverse? I dunno. Why aren't there more NBA Superstars than there are? Because it's hard! It is a skill that few normal people possess an innate talent for, and those who CAN use it, only get there by years of dedication and practice. There are only two characters in my story who are innately talented with magic, and that is because the species they belong to is inherently magical. Other than that, any magic performed by any other character takes a LOT of work and energy out of the person.

Here are some examples of magic and the level of talent needed to perform certain spells:

EASIEST:

--Summoning demons. Literally ANYONE can do this. You read the exact words on a scary looking piece of paper, a particular demon will appear, and not necessarily to do your bidding. It's sort of a humorous trope in horror movies when obnoxious college kids get in over their heads by reciting lines they have no business reciting. This is an actual thing in the Un-Iverse. Which usually has people who get killed by doing something this stupid being referred to as winning a Darwin Award.

--Moona Empowering Spell. This spell, used while holding the Moona Painting, can give the caster invincibility and great power as long as they are holding the painting. It is a shockingly easy spell to perform considering Otterman pulls it off, and he's probably barely a Novice. It requires a dead or live chicken to cast it.

--Blood Debts. Surprisingly easy spell to cast that tends to only work on suckers. But if you cast a spell using a Blood Debt, the person the spell benefits is sworn by a Blood Debt to repay the caster however the caster chooses or else be driven insane. The beneficial thing about Blood Debts for the caster is that the Debtor actually WANTS to pay the debt because of the psychological suffering they go through when the debt is near time to be repaid. Blood Debts always benefit the caster exclusively, and tend to only be agreed upon in either desperate measures, or if the debtor does not actually understand or appreciate what a Blood Debt and its consequences are. Blood Debts do not always have to be paid by the debtor. The nature of the Blood Debt runs through the debtor's bloodline, and may need to be paid off by a descendant hundreds of years later, even if they had nothing to do with casting the spell, or agreeing to the debt. The only "weakness" of the spell is that it IS a contract, and has to be fully agreed upon by the debtor beforehand, or the caster literally has jack-shit. The debtor doesn't have to know what they are agreeing to. But they have to agree before the caster can screw them over. I imagine this is not the easiest spell to perform, but it goes in the "Easiest" section because it can literally be attached to any spell that benefits another person. Bob the Wizard infamously extorted a Blood Debt from King Krac that his descendant Meek Anderson had to pay (at great personal risk and cost) so we're pissed that he did that.

INTERMEDIATE:

--Healing Spell. Also known as the Hangnar Spell. All you have to do is read the words off the page, but unlike summoning demons it takes a LOT of energy and a person can pass out before they can fully heal themselves. Not everyone can do it either. Usually you have to be familiar with how magic and its energy works to be able to do it successfully. Doctors are NOT out of work in the Un-Iverse, although there are as many "healing" stores, there as there are "alternative medicine" stores in our world.

The Healing Spell is easily the most useful spell in the UnComix Universe. It is sort of difficult to learn, but the pay-off is beyond worth it. If you are a regular user of magic in the Un-Iverse, this is the one spell you should learn how to do (even if it is more difficult to cast on yourself). The existence of this spell is precisely why Magical Creatures are so hard to kill. You have to deliver a decisively fatal blow, usually at the beginning of the fight to do it. And if you're fighting two or more creatures? You pretty much have to take them all out at once, or they'll keep healing each other while you wear yourself out. There IS some risk involved for the person you heal if you botch it, but if you know what you're doing, it is the most useful spell there is. It expends VERY little relative energy on the person casting it, and it is pretty much as good as raising the dead for a near-dying person. Raising the dead is impossible for normal people. Fixing the near-dead? With enough practice it CAN be done.

The reason it is difficult to cast on yourself is simply because the bigger the wound you need healed, the weaker you are going to be casting the spell. That's why it is easier to cast it on another person. Perfectly healthy people have more strength and focus than those who are already injured or dying.

The usefulness of the Healing Spell is similar in the Un-Iverse as the Patronus is in the Harry Potterverse.

Any weaknesses for the healing spell? It only heals injuries, not birth defects. It sets the body back to it's natural state, but if a person is born blind, the Spell cannot help with that. It can cure disease, but the amount of power expelled from the person casting it is often fatal if the disease is bad enough, which means doctors are almost always a more prudent course of action.

The Hangnar Spell is a recent creation in magical history. It cannot be more than 200 years old. There were other Healing Spells before it but that were so complex and power draining, that they could only be cast by the most powerful of Mistresses and Warlocks. The Hangnar Spell being discovered put this power into the hands of Novices for the first time in world history.

--Attacking spells. These are spells used to either stun or kill other people with blasts of energy. This actually takes a LOT of focus and energy so not many people use them. Guns are easier. But that's unfortunately true in our world too.

--Banishing spells. Demons are harder to send away than to summon, but an experienced Novice can almost always do it with the right spell. There are many ways to expel demons from this world. Some involve transporting them across the world or into space, and some involve sending them into another dimension or the Netherworld. Gilda even knows a spell to banish a demon into a computer.

--Water creation spell. Another useful spell for Novices to learn. Also like the Healing Spell in that the weaker you are, the harder it is to cast it.

--TARDIS spell. A spell to expand the insides of a small space in the same way the Doctor's TARDIS is bigger on the inside. Novices can do it, but it is my opinion that any novice who can is pretty amazing, and just a couple of steps below a Magician or Sorceress. It's probably the toughest of the intermediate spells.

--Sleeping spell. Spell used to knock out your enemies for a couple of hours. In order to keep them under, you have to keep reciting the spell every couple of hours. Eye of Newt is used to start it, but you don't need that ingredient to refresh it.

--Force Field Spell. Gilda knows a spell to put a Forcefield around Raggleworth Labs.

--Book Trapping Spell. Gilda knows a spell to trap the Frogman in her Spellbook.

VERY DIFFICULT:

--Telekinesis. To be absolutely fair, no-one in the Un-Iverse knows quite how to classify this superpower. Is it magic? Or some form of science we don't understand? People gifted in magic can do it, but there are also people born with this talent that don't even need to expend any effort. I think it can be both classified as a scientific phenomenon AND a magical power, depending on who is able to do it.

--Augatha's spell to construct Mount Crushmore. Truly advanced spell that takes the rubble of Dragons' Mountain and uses it to reform into Augatha new lair. Augatha uses Fuzzy and Scuzzy to coat the outside of the palace with Gragnite.

--Tracing Spell. A truly advanced Mistress or Warlock can trace the magic left behind for every single spell they've ever cast like a GPS signal. This is not something Gilda would ever be able to do.

--Tether Spell / Zapgoor Spell: This spell is relatively easy to perform for a Novice, but it goes in this section because it seems impossible to be broken by anyone but the caster. It is a magical tether that works like handcuffs. Usually the caster is a bounty hunter and the castee their bounty. The bounty has no way to escape short of killing the caster and / or cutting off their own arm. For the record, the spell automatically breaks should the caster die. Gilda knows a variation on this spell which allows her to transfer the ability to break the spell to a person of her choosing (in this case Meek). I'm not going to say that a Warlock breaking this spell is harder than raising than dead, but the truth is, the dead HAVE been raised, while the work-around to this spell hasn't been discovered yet. Perhaps someday a Warlock or a Mistress will find a loophole. Until then, it remains one of the most difficult spells for anyone but the caster to break. The "release" words to break the spell are "Mother Mercy, release thee from thine binds".

--Shapeshifting Spell: This is one Augatha knows. It's a glamour to change her identity into a stranger so she won't be recognized. It goes in the Very Difficult section solely because Augatha is the only person we're seen use it. For the record, Eddie Cat is also a shapeshifter, but he doesn't use magic to do it. That is simply one of a Chaos Demon's God-given gifts. But whenever Augatha is in a different guise, she uses magic to do it.

--Nth Degree Healing Spell: This Healing Spell is incredibly difficult to cast and is very rare. It cures all thing that a Healing Spell might not. For instance, The Hangnar Healing Spell cannot cure blindness or deafness or mental retardation. This spell CAN. It is hinted that it works best when holding the spellbook it was originally written down in. Gilda luckily owns this book which is kind of amazing. It does not work on wounds attained magically in a different dimension and can in fact backfire and nearly kill the person the caster is trying to heal. This spell is so difficult and amazing that I kind of think that since Gilda believes she can perform it (we never see her successfully perform it due to the fact that Meek had extra-dimensional magical injuries when she used it on him) that Gilda's magical skills are far vaster than she realizes. Gilda and the Narrator believe her skill to be that of a Novice. If Gilda CAN successfully perform this spell usually (and I have no reason to doubt her belief about that) that actually puts her magical skill level at closer to a Sorceress.

--Gragnite Local Tracing Spell: This is a spell Gilda knows, and I assume it is advanced for one reason: If Gilda can use it to search for Gragnite locally, Augatha should be able to use a souped up version of the spell worldwide. But if Augatha has clearly never been able to do this in her search for the Gragnock Idols, then it stands to reason that the spell Gilda does is the most powerful version of it that exists. Which is another thing that says Gilda's magic skills are probably more advanced than advertised.

--Anti-Mind Control Spell. Spell Gilda uses to free Santa's Elves from Augatha's influence. Goes in the Very Difficult section because it involves undoing a bit of Augatha's magic.

--Transporting Spell. A spell Gabrielle knows to transport herself, the group, or messages around the globe. Gabrielle is always trying to improve this spell and use different variations on it, which suggests the transport is not instantaneous. The spell is often accompanied by a sound like lightning.

--Portal Spell. A talented Magician or Sorceress can create magic portals to transport from place to place. An alternative to the Transporting Spell. Probably a lot safer too.

HARDEST:

--Raising the dead. There are two characters in my story capable of doing it, but it is SUCH an advanced spell that no-one else can. And the two characters who CAN do it aren't exactly the type of people who think bringing people back from the dead is a good idea. To a Gragnock (even a good one like Gabrielle) the less people there are in the world, the less dangerous it is. Augatha thumbs her nose at this idea occasionally, but the person she keeps reviving and killing is simply an excuse for her to torment somebody. She would never use the spell to actually help anyone. Gabrielle has used the spell exactly once (in exchange for something else she wanted) and she doesn't like to advertise it. If she had done it openly, she figures she'd be swamped by requests from people who don't think like Gragnocks do.

--Resurrection Oaths. A price extracted from a Caster to a Debtor to bring a loved one back to life. Very similar to Blood Debts, but with much harsher consequences for breaking them. You break a Blood Debt, you go insane. You break a Resurrection Oath, the loved one dies. It is unclear if this spell is actually harder than a Blood Debt. But since it is only attached to raising the dead, it belongs in this section.

--Gabrielle's Protection Spells. This sounds like a basic spell, but considering it is designed to keep both Augatha and her Firepit out of places Gabrielle doesn't want, and seems to work, it's probably something so advanced only Gabrielle herself could it. There are definitely lower tier Protection Spells in The Un-Iverse, but Gabrielle's hides locations and makes them impenetrable to magical attacks and transportation. Definitely one of the hardest spells in The Un-Iverse.

NEARLY IMPOSSIBLE:

--Predicting the future. People have done it, but NOBODY has a perfect batting average, and it is impossible to tell what prophecy is genuine and what isn't. There are people who swear by this talent. Those people are not very smart. This is Gabrielle's weak spot. Augatha's too but not for the same reasons.

UNCLEAR:

--Mind-reading. Like telekinesis, this power could be scientific OR magical, but people aren't really sure how to classify it. UNLIKE telekinesis however, it is even MORE difficult to do by using magic. Almost as hard as raising the dead. But born mind-readers ARE fairly common. And they are all insane. I've noticed a tendency of people throughout fictional history thinking that people who could read other people's mind were crazy, and that because of that, their warnings went unheeded to disastrous consequences. In my story, it is literally true. Crazy people can read minds, and even predict the future a bit using the probabilities that come with this gift. The more insane you are, the better you are at it. Unfortunately, the best mediums aren't lovably nutty goofballs like my psychic crab Crusty. He can do it, but he's not that great at it. The best mediums are dangerous and violent sociopaths and psychopaths. While there isn't actually good or evil magic in the Un-Iverse, if someone IS innately talented with mind-reading, they are probably super dangerous.

For the record, while it is NOT mind-reading exactly, Augatha owns a Mumm-Ra style firepit that lets her spy on her enemies no matter where they are. However I'm going to make clear in the story that Augatha didn't create this bit of magic herself, (it is quite stellar) but traded it for an unspecified favor from the Warlock Council who CAN do magic that advanced, although they don't really live on Earth.

Also for the record, my main Big Bad Augatha is not insane, and so doesn't automatically have this talent. Augatha is a bit dull-witted (if super talented in magic) but she isn't crazy. She just doesn't have the imagination to put her innate magical talents to good use.

LEVELS OF MAGIC IN THE UNCOMIX UNIVERSE

There are three levels of magical skill in the Un-Iverse. The definitions for each level have changed over the centuries due to magic evolving and improving, but the levels still mean pretty much the same thing in relation to one another.

1. The first level is NOVICE. This is usually a human / cat / dog not born with innate magical abilities, but who has learned how to do the basic stuff with years of practice. It is almost impossible for a non-magical being to become a Warlock / Mistress, although the beings known as "Blessed Children" do it about once a millennium. Novices becoming Magicians are rare too but not unheard of. They are often humans born with innate magical talent, which is very uncommon. Gilda is the most notable novice in the story.

2. The second levels are MAGICIANS and SORCERESSES. Magicians are male and Sorceresses are female. These are usually people born of a magical species (such as a Gragnocks, Lapinians, or Demons) who can do basic magic. Since magic has evolved over the centuries so have expectations of being called a Magician. Gilda's skills, while definitely worth being called a novice in the present, would have been considered on the level of Sorceress in the 11th Century. Science evolves over the centuries and so does magic. Zyle and Santa Claus are the story's most notable Magicians. Eddie Cat could probably be classified as one due to his magical skills but the fact that he is Immortal sort of bumps him up to the third level whether he's great at magic or not. Even though there are Sorceresses in this world, we never meet any (although the Secretary is definitely debatable).

3. The thirds levels are MISTRESSES and WARLOCKS. Mistresses are female and Warlocks are males. These are beings who are born with magical talents so great they can be a threat to the entire world if they are malevolent. Luckily there are so few of them. They also tend to have the ability to make themselves Immortal. They are pretty much the only classification of Magical Being who can raised the dead. But they are usually unlikely to do it for anyone. The male Wizards on the Warlocks Council are all Warlocks while the females on the Council are all Mistresses. They call it the Warlocks Council because it rolls off the tongue better than Warlock and Mistress Council (think X-Men). The most notable Warlock in the story is Eddie Cat, although many people debate whether he has earned this classification. His actual magical skills don't rise above a Magician, but since he's Immortal, he can claim a third degree magic level, whether he deserves it or not. Plus, he's the kind of dude who likes to build himself up, so he'll claim to be part of the Warlock Club either way. He (and other Chaos Demons) are less powerful than their magical skill level implies. The most notable Mistresses in my story are Augatha, Gabrielle, and their late mother Pontue. Gabrielle (and her friends) actually refer to Gabby as a Sorceress, but she's definitely a Mistress. She probably refuses to take on that label because her evil sister has made it a part of her name, and now it carries a stigma. It's a psychological thing.

 

[Fone Bone]

Finished Gilda And Meek #26 "Who Framed Bernadette Anderson: Amalgamation" (Un-Iverse #39)

Here, have a Peaks Freak Meek.

 

[Fone Bone]

I'm going to be doing more sketches, not just to mark an issue I've finished, but also ones I've scripted too.

I just scripted Gilda And Meek #30 "All Blood Things...: Step Four: The Return Of Everybody" (Un-Iverse #44).

Here's a drawing of Gilda in her khaki outfit.

I love my new Brother scanner because you can see the colors and detail better. Ironically is cost about a sixth of my HP. Yeah, technology's improved since then but even if the scanner and printer are slower, both functions LOOK nicer. And the printer doesn't smudge the ink either.

 

[Fone Bone]

Finishing Scripting Gilda And Meek #31 "All Blood Things...: Step Five: The Sword Of Wisdom" (Un-Iverse #45).

Here's a sketch of The Un-Iverse's Santa.

 

[Christopher Glennon]

I love raising questions about how the b.s. detector works because even Gilda herself doesn't fully understand it. Sometimes she seems to think it gives her more far-reaching powers than it actually does. She also cannot fully tell when she's b.s.ing herself. The Piranha will later note that ultimately the b.s. detector comes down to empathy. She's a lot like Counselor Troi if Troi wasn't always either wrong or ignored.

It's definitely a cool ability that is fun to watch how it is used.

To be honest, the timing is a little wonky, but it's definitely less wonky than you are saying it is. The Narrator always saying "Meanwhile" is a story conceit, not a literal statement, because time moves differently in both places. The Vic Puff election stuff is occurring at the same time as Gilda's stuff, but Meek and Augatha's timeline is entirely different. And Augatha wasn't exactly asleep for five days. She was unconscious for that long and in total agony.

Thanks for clearing that up.

You mentioned in one of your earlier reviews that Augatha struck you as superstitious and cowardly. The reason I bristled at that is because after what happened with the Psycow, Augatha went back to his hide-out to confront and kill him. That is the mark of a very brave woman, and a very unusual way to deal with the trauma she suffered. That's how she works crap out. Vic Puff is definitely a cowardly villain. Augatha is actually quite brave.

Well, considering I haven't gotten to this issue yet, I called it like I saw it. But you're right, Augatha isn't a Rita Repulsa-type sending monsters from a safe distance away, she will be hands on when she needs to be.

Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris. That is what is known as an opinion. I am well aware not everyone will agree with it. But I don't need to couch every opinion I say (such as that Futurama is objectively better than The Simpsons) with "I could be wrong." That goes without saying. Moving on.

Not to derail, but you did use the word "objectively", hence the comment.

The constant refrain I hear from people who start out the saga is "I like the characters and concept, but the Narrator is super annoying." But it's because of moments like that that I have him. I cannot picture that sequence without him and he has a ton of upcoming great moments like that. I can't picture the story without him either.

The Narrator can be annoying, sure, but he adds an extra layer to your saga, and I can't imagine you getting rid of him.

As for the right hand to take, there WAS a specific reason Meek took the hand he did, whether he knew it at the time or not. It will be further explored in "Timeline Trilogy", and pretty much fully explained in the third issue of the five part finale to the Mistress Augatha Arc "All Blood Things: Step Three: Late Night Conversations And Other Equally Important Occurrences." But that's all for later.

Hmmm...interesting plot thread to follow.

Meek's sexuality does come up again, and yes there will be a significant other for him. In fact, the first part of Warlocks' Beyond Reality, the Warlocks, who exist out of time, mention that Meek has a wife in the same breath as Gilda, which means the wife isn't Gilda, and yet is someone historically significant. But yes, Meek IS going to eventually get a significant other. But it won't be Gilda.

I did like that tidbit about Meek's non-Gilda wife.

It's not to say feelings and curiosities never come up at all. They aren't attracted to each other, but I think Gilda is far more curious about Meek as a man than Meek is about her as a woman. She has definite questions in her mind that she would never ask him because she knows it would make him uncomfortable, and even angry. But she has a very strong sense that he is probably amazing in bed, and is curious why that is. But the idea of Gilda and Meek's sexual curiosity is that if Meek ever asked her for sex she'd say "Why not?" If she asked him, he'd say, "No."

Wow...okay, then.

--Blood Debts. Surprisingly easy spell to cast that tends to only work on suckers. But if you cast a spell using a Blood Debt, the person the spell benefits is sworn by a Blood Debt to repay the caster however the caster chooses or else be driven insane. The beneficial thing about Blood Debts for the caster is that the Debtor actually WANTS to pay the debt because of the psychological suffering they go through when the debt is near time to be repaid. Blood Debts always benefit the caster exclusively, and tend to only be agreed upon in either desperate measures, or if the debtor does not actually understand or appreciate what a Blood Debt and its consequences are. Blood Debts do not always have to be paid by the debtor. The nature of the Blood Debt runs through the debtor's bloodline, and may need to be paid off by a descendant hundreds of years later, even if they had nothing to do with casting the spell, or agreeing to the debt.

So the insanity would pass along to the descendants too, then?

--Water creation spell. Another useful spell for Novices to learn. Also like the Healing Spell in that the weaker you are, the harder it is to cast it.

Could this spell be tweaked for any other kind of weather manipulation?

 

[Fone Bone]

Not to derail, but you did use the word "objectively", hence the comment.

Objectively was ALSO an opinion.

The Narrator can be annoying, sure, but he adds an extra layer to your saga, and I can't imagine you getting rid of him.

And that's what drives me nuts about the complaints about him. I'm like "Give him a chance!"

So the insanity would pass along to the descendants too, then?

Yes. That's precisely what happened to Meek. Once he fulfilled the Debt, it disappeared from his lineage for good.

Could this spell be tweaked for any other kind of weather manipulation?

Probably not. But there is probably a separate and different spell to do that.

Have you read "Fight or Flight" or "The Apple" yet?

 

[Christopher Glennon]

Have you read "Fight or Flight" or "The Apple" yet?

Indeed I have!

I don't think the Un-Iverse needs an issue to suck, or at least, Gilda and Meek doesn't, and especially not one where the Lab blows up. I liked this issue, but I did think that you lost a bit of momentum when they have to hide out in the motel. With Augatha being behind the scenes of many governments and agencies and having a firepit, we should feel like the heroes can't stop even for a moment.

And losing Raggleworth Labs is a sad and powerful moment, especially for Julius. Why was he all lusty towards Gilda at that one point? He looked more like Chirp. Also him being called out on it is weird considering Gilda straight up grabbed his balls in an earlier issue and there was no follow-up. I do like the twist that he hired Gilda as his lawyer yet he ends up being the one smoothing things over. He probably has a really cool backstory. These things can add layers to who he is and why Gilda was wrong about him during her first impression. From what we see, the audience does pretty much take her insults at face value given the events of the first issue.

I was worried about Gilda stealing from the hospital, then she actually gives the patient a pillow, that makes up for it in a weird way. Gilda has a strong urge to kiss Meek?! Now you're just teasing the shippers (but seriously, I do like the speech she gives him about their friendship)!

That is one chilling flashback with Gilda not shying way from killing werewolves, and using her gift against one of them. I did like everything we saw of her, from her in college to Eddie Cat and Mitch to her physical transformation. Between pages 40 and 41, though, Gilda looses a lot of hair. I thought it was supposed to be gradual over the next 6 months?

So that scene where everyone airs their grievances against Gilda. Tensions have been high, and I completely agree with you that everyone's mistrust can't resolved by her saving their lives on some adventure. At the same time, though, I don't know if one scene where they talk things over and then agree to give her a second chance has quite the impact it should. I understand everything isn't resolved neatly, but the reason why other stories will have characters argue and then storm off is to give everyone (including the audience) the chance to take a breather and to process things. That way they can return to the discussion after having thought things over. Gilda's speech to Mitch where she re-states who she is and why she does what she does helps us to like her again.

Some additional thoughts from me reading the Linear Notes...I don't believe you about the Teddy Ruxpin deat grandmother joke

Augatha's plans to make the Chosen Five suffer makes a lot of sense, and I like the scene with her and werewolves when she is talking to Tork. She may believe in prophecies, but that sort of works to her advantage in this case and she is smart in knowing how to really get at the team. I also like that you point out Augatha being lawful evil, it sounds like the Crisinian threat is going to contrast her threat and be something we haven't seen in this
Saga before.

I'm still trying to wrap my head around the Piranha being 50. I liked the POV he brought to the Gilda argument, and I can kind of see him being like Mavis in Hotel Transylvania (old but still adolescent). I want to see more of this wisdom he has because many other things in the narrative make him just seem like a young person (I think both Otterman and the Narrator call him "Kid" at one point, his room has toys and posters, he watches TV aimed for a younger audience, he goes trick or treating and has a bedtime, etc).

So Bernadette's conservatism is logical but Gilda's liberalism is from the heart and she calls Republicans evil and stupid? Surely there are logical arguments for her side, especially now that she isn't who she was back in college. I'd like to see them debate their sides. I don't want to stereotype Bernadette by assuming she has every right wing belief, but I did think she was in favor of personal use of firearms. Much earlier in the aquarium issue, she wishes Gilda had a gun on her, but in this issue, she is upset at Gilda for concealing a gun. I guess this could be seen as more of an issue of Gilda keeping things from everyone, so how does Bernadette feel about guns?

While you say "no filler" may excite certain people, there is a reason a series will throw in filler stories, and as you said, it could be seen as a failing in the part of the Saga.
Done-in-one non-arc related stand alone adventures are important to let the audience enjoy the status quo without it being constantly shaken up (which could be off putting if it happens too early in the Saga). An audience might feel turned off if they are unable to really pin down where the characters are if they're constantly moving from place to place.

 

[Fone Bone]

I don't think the Un-Iverse needs an issue to suck, or at least, Gilda and Meek doesn't, and especially not one where the Lab blows up. I liked this issue, but I did think that you lost a bit of momentum when they have to hide out in the motel. With Augatha being behind the scenes of many governments and agencies and having a firepit, we should feel like the heroes can't stop even for a moment.

I know. It's a shit issue. But it was literally the best I could do. Keep in mind it could have been MUCH worse.

And losing Raggleworth Labs is a sad and powerful moment, especially for Julius. Why was he all lusty towards Gilda at that one point?

There are hints in the story that Dr. Raggleworth is secretly in love with Gilda, or at least attracted her. I used that moment to clearly show that. We've talked about this before on my live-journal, but it's been awhile, and you probably don't remember this facet about Gilda. But despite the fact that Gilda is NOT about the ship, and will never be seen with a significant other, I think most of the main characters outside of Meek and the Piranha are secretly in love with her. And yes, I include Dr. Raggleworth and Bernadette in that statement, as well as Gabrielle and Augatha. For someone who always keeps her private life completely separate from her friends, Gilda has a remarkable amount of unintentional game anyways. Why? Because I like the idea that a woman who is bald, plain-looking, has no breasts, and smells bad has so many admirers in that regard. And it's definitely a subtext to Julius and her. Julius is often far crueler to Gilda than the situation calls for. That's because he secretly wants her, knows he doesn't have a shot, and is punishing her for it.

For the record, Santa is also in love with Gilda. Because she's the only person who calls him on his crap.

He looked more like Chirp. Also him being called out on it is weird considering Gilda straight up grabbed his balls in an earlier issue and there was no follow-up.

That is actually another defining Gilda trait: She has an extremely poorly set of boundaries. Her impulse control is far weaker than she believes it is as well, as least as far as Christmas is concerned. Julius might have brought it up himself but on some level he fears her. Which he is probably right to do.

I do like the twist that he hired Gilda as his lawyer yet he ends up being the one smoothing things over. He probably has a really cool backstory. These things can add layers to who he is and why Gilda was wrong about him during her first impression. From what we see, the audience does pretty much take her insults at face value given the events of the first issue.

When I wrote that scene in the first issue, I knew this scene was coming. In fact, it was already written. That's how far ahead this crap is planned out.

I was worried about Gilda stealing from the hospital, then she actually gives the patient a pillow, that makes up for it in a weird way.

As far as the stealing went, it was "Desperate times call for desperate measures". Many of the characters in the story are thieves, such as Bill the Blue and Stella Stickyfingers. I often don't attach a judgment either way to that, which is unusual. But it also made me not worry too much about Gilda being forced to do it here.

Gilda has a strong urge to kiss Meek?! Now you're just teasing the shippers (but seriously, I do like the speech she gives him about their friendship)!

She wants to kiss him because she is 100% certain it would wake him up. She is right, but perhaps you should wonder how and why that could actually be true. Or better yet, wonder why she still refuses to do it knowing that is the case.

That is one chilling flashback with Gilda not shying way from killing werewolves, and using her gift against one of them. I did like everything we saw of her, from her in college to Eddie Cat and Mitch to her physical transformation. Between pages 40 and 41, though, Gilda looses a lot of hair. I thought it was supposed to be gradual over the next 6 months?

She actually had a lot of hair to lose. And we didn't see her lose much if any in those pages. At that point it mostly frizzling and the color weakening instead of completely falling out. That came a little later.

So that scene where everyone airs their grievances against Gilda. Tensions have been high, and I completely agree with you that everyone's mistrust can't resolved by her saving their lives on some adventure. At the same time, though, I don't know if one scene where they talk things over and then agree to give her a second chance has quite the impact it should. I understand everything isn't resolved neatly, but the reason why other stories will have characters argue and then storm off is to give everyone (including the audience) the chance to take a breather and to process things. That way they can return to the discussion after having thought things over. Gilda's speech to Mitch where she re-states who she is and why she does what she does helps us to like her again.

I don't agree, and even if I did, it wouldn't change me from writing the scene the way I did. Because everyone else writes the scene you've just described. The selling point of the scene I wrote is that nobody else ever does that. You think the situation is more chill and less dramatic than it should be? That's the actual selling point to me! Nobody is making this a bigger deal than it is. That's a GOOD thing!

Some additional thoughts from me reading the Linear Notes...I don't believe you about the Teddy Ruxpin deat grandmother joke

The genius thing about the Teddy Ruxpin joke back in the day is that they used the term "deathbed", which is an unfamiliar term for most little kids, so they got away with using the word they did. They never say the words "Dead grandmother" which would be a censor no-no. They said "My grandmother sold it to me on her deathbed" and they got away with it. I loved that joke and never forgot it. What sort of disturbs me in hindsight is that from what else I remember about the show, it was unremarkable in every other respect. It didn't have any other funny or memorable jokes or stories, which makes that brilliant gag even more inexplicable to me. I do not get why a show that crappy had a joke that good. I don't blame you for not believing me. It makes no sense.

I'm still trying to wrap my head around the Piranha being 50. I liked the POV he brought to the Gilda argument, and I can kind of see him being like Mavis in Hotel Transylvania (old but still adolescent). I want to see more of this wisdom he has because many other things in the narrative make him just seem like a young person (I think both Otterman and the Narrator call him "Kid" at one point, his room has toys and posters, he watches TV aimed for a younger audience, he goes trick or treating and has a bedtime, etc).

The Piranha acts like a little kid, but part of his background is shrouded in mystery so I make his personality often wiser and more unexpectedly insightful than you'd expect. But the Piranha being wise has always been a facet to his character, as has the idea that he's older than he looks and seems. Piranhas live for a VERY long time in this Universe, and he is still just a kid compared to the others we will eventually meet in the saga.

So Bernadette's conservatism is logical but Gilda's liberalism is from the heart and she calls Republicans evil and stupid? Surely there are logical arguments for her side, especially now that she isn't who she was back in college.

There are of course logical arguments for Gilda's positions. She's just not the person who cares to bother making them. Think Seth MacFarlane. It's ironic Gilda hates Family Guy as much she does. She has the same inability to argue liberal positions on the merits that Seth does.

I'd like to see them debate their sides.

I don't. I like the fact that each pretty much accepts the other's beliefs without making a federal case of things. That's refreshing, and I like that in this Universe, there isn't the big political divide there is in our Universe. I'm not changing that because I LIKE The Un-Iverse because of that.

I don't want to stereotype Bernadette by assuming she has every right wing belief, but I did think she was in favor of personal use of firearms. Much earlier in the aquarium issue, she wishes Gilda had a gun on her, but in this issue, she is upset at Gilda for concealing a gun. I guess this could be seen as more of an issue of Gilda keeping things from everyone, so how does Bernadette feel about guns?

Bernadette's feelings about guns are similar to Lisa Simpson's feeling about lobsters. Yeah, she's a proud vegetarian who would never eat a lobster. But she still likes the smell. Bernadette still likes the idea than Gilda is an ex-C.I.A. agent who may have a secret weapon. Until she learns she actually does, and realizes her feelings are more complicated than that. Bernadette's feelings about guns are complicated because many people's feelings about guns are complicated. And many people's feelings about them are also inconsistent as well, so Bernadette's are too.

While you say "no filler" may excite certain people, there is a reason a series will throw in filler stories, and as you said, it could be seen as a failing in the part of the Saga.
Done-in-one non-arc related stand alone adventures are important to let the audience enjoy the status quo without it being constantly shaken up (which could be off putting if it happens too early in the Saga). An audience might feel turned off if they are unable to really pin down where the characters are if they're constantly moving from place to place.

You have to understand Chris, the actual real reason there is no filler is because I suck at it. It is my biggest writing weakness, and I am unable to make the saga bigger or longer than it is just to comfort and normalize things to the reader. Things are erratic and move fast not because I'm a great writer. It's because I don't have the skill to write any other way.

That being said, even if I did, I wouldn't change the story. No filler may not be good for the long-term health of the franchise, but it is another one of the totally unique things about The Un-Iverse, and I like the things that differentiate The Un-Iverse from everything else, even if they seem outwardly less-than the things you compare it to. Doing things differently at all is the selling point, not making the scenario better. I hope I wind up doing the second thing eventually, but it's the first thing I'm making the bigger attempt at.

If a reader feels unsure about the characters or the scenarios because they can't get a fix on things, I'm fine with that. That is the influence of Twin Peaks. Raising questions and having the reader come up with their own explanations is a selling point. I wouldn't blame a single reader for not pinning things down because whenever somebody asks me about what the story is about, I say it's about a uniquely lucky Universe in a Multiverse of all possible outcomes. And the Multiverse has barely been broached at this point. If someone wonders what the saga is about that's fine, because we haven't actually gotten to that point yet.

 

[Christopher Glennon]

There are hints in the story that Dr. Raggleworth is secretly in love with Gilda, or at least attracted her. I used that moment to clearly show that. We've talked about this before on my live-journal, but it's been awhile, and you probably don't remember this facet about Gilda. But despite the fact that Gilda is NOT about the ship, and will never be seen with a significant other, I think most of the main characters outside of Meek and the Piranha are secretly in love with her. And yes, I include Dr. Raggleworth and Bernadette in that statement, as well as Gabrielle and Augatha. For someone who always keeps her private life completely separate from her friends, Gilda has a remarkable amount of unintentional game anyways. Why? Because I like the idea that a woman who is bald, plain-looking, has no breasts, and smells bad has so many admirers in that regard. And it's definitely a subtext to Julius and her. Julius is often far crueler to Gilda than the situation calls for. That's because he secretly wants her, knows he doesn't have a shot, and is punishing her for it.

I like that added layer to Julius and Gilda's relationship. In fact, I like it about Gilda and what it says about her as a chatecter. Augatha might be a little problematic, but that's because I've never been a fan of romantic/sexual subtext when it comes to heroes and their antagonists.

I don't agree, and even if I did, it wouldn't change me from writing the scene the way I did. Because everyone else writes the scene you've just described. The selling point of the scene I wrote is that nobody else ever does that. You think the situation is more chill and less dramatic than it should be? That's the actual selling point to me! Nobody is making this a bigger deal than it is. That's a GOOD thing!

It's not that I think it's chill (in fact, some of it is very intense, like the outburst from Meek) it's that I feel like I need a breather and time to process the whole argument and that the characters are going through their emotions faster than I am.

I don't. I like the fact that each pretty much accepts the other's beliefs without making a federal case of things. That's refreshing, and I like that in this Universe, there isn't the big political divide there is in our Universe. I'm not changing that because I LIKE The Un-Iverse because of that.

I like Bernadette as a foil to Gilda. She keeps her honest and brings out a side to her no other character can. Having some sort of debate with Bernadette coming at it from a conservative POV and Gilda from a liberal one feels like it would be a natural extension of their dynamic. But I do agree that I like the political divide in the Un-Iverse isn't as large and problematic as it is in the real world.

Bernadette's feelings about guns are similar to Lisa Simpson's feeling about lobsters. Yeah, she's a proud vegetarian who would never eat a lobster. But she still likes the smell. Bernadette still likes the idea than Gilda is an ex-C.I.A. agent who may have a secret weapon. Until she learns she actually does, and realizes her feelings are more complicated than that. Bernadette's feelings about guns are complicated because many people's feelings about guns are complicated. And many people's feelings about them are also inconsistent as well, so Bernadette's are too.

Gotcha.

You have to understand Chris, the actual real reason there is no filler is because I suck at it. It is my biggest writing weakness, and I am unable to make the saga bigger or longer than it is just to comfort and normalize things to the reader. Things are erratic and move fast not because I'm a great writer. It's because I don't have the skill to write any other way.

That being said, even if I did, I wouldn't change the story. No filler may not be good for the long-term health of the franchise, but it is another one of the totally unique things about The Un-Iverse, and I like the things that differentiate The Un-Iverse from everything else, even if they seem outwardly less-than the things you compare it to. Doing things differently at all is the selling point, not making the scenario better. I hope I wind up doing the second thing eventually, but it's the first thing I'm making the bigger attempt at.

If a reader feels unsure about the characters or the scenarios because they can't get a fix on things, I'm fine with that. That is the influence of Twin Peaks. Raising questions and having the reader come up with their own explanations is a selling point. I wouldn't blame a single reader for not pinning things down because whenever somebody asks me about what the story is about, I say it's about a uniquely lucky Universe in a Multiverse of all possible outcomes. And the Multiverse has barely been broached at this point. If someone wonders what the saga is about that's fine, because we haven't actually gotten to that point yet.

It's a little hard to compare this to Twin Peaks because of the medium/format for each, but the thing about Twin Peaks is, the through line of the series is the investigation of the death of Laura Palmer, which is a nice, neat way to describe what got the events of the series going despite the fact that there's so much more going on with the show. Once the case was solved (and there is debate on whether or not it should have been), the show became weaker as a result.

While reading this, I am trying to picture how it would play out if I were reading an actual comic series. So, for instance, if this was published by Dark Horse and they wanted to do a Gilda and Meek short for their New Year special or Free Comic Day Anthology or something to promote the series and pique the interest of new readers, what would you do for a done in one short?

 

[Fone Bone]

I like that added layer to Julius and Gilda's relationship. In fact, I like it about Gilda and what it says about her as a chatecter. Augatha might be a little problematic, but that's because I've never been a fan of romantic/sexual subtext when it comes to heroes and their antagonists.

It's Augatha. Her thought processes about violence are messed up. A person tries to kill her, she might wind up digging them. I wouldn't worry to much about it. Even Augatha knows any attraction she has is just a distraction and won't amount to anything.

It's not that I think it's chill (in fact, some of it is very intense, like the outburst from Meek) it's that I feel like I need a breather and time to process the whole argument and that the characters are going through their emotions faster than I am.

You aren't allowed that in this franchise. Problems are dealt with immediately.

I like Bernadette as a foil to Gilda. She keeps her honest and brings out a side to her no other character can. Having some sort of debate with Bernadette coming at it from a conservative POV and Gilda from a liberal one feels like it would be a natural extension of their dynamic. But I do agree that I like the political divide in the Un-Iverse isn't as large and problematic as it is in the real world.

One of the reasons I don't do political arguments between them is because one of my ironclad rules of The Un-Iverse is "The Complainer Is Always Right". No matter how much she pushes back on Gilda for her plans, Bernadette's perspective is always legitimate. And Gilda respects that, and sometimes even changes her plans if Bernadette's idea is actually better. If I did a political argument, I'd have to make Bernadette wrong. Which I'm not going to do.

It's a little hard to compare this to Twin Peaks because of the medium/format for each, but the thing about Twin Peaks is, the through line of the series is the investigation of the death of Laura Palmer, which is a nice, neat way to describe what got the events of the series going despite the fact that there's so much more going on with the show. Once the case was solved (and there is debate on whether or not it should have been), the show became weaker as a result.

I can't get into the Twin Peaks stuff yet. That involves major spoilers. But it is definitely a huge influence you'll be able to see. Man, I'm fit to burst to reveal it. But I won't.

While reading this, I am trying to picture how it would play out if I were reading an actual comic series. So, for instance, if this was published by Dark Horse and they wanted to do a Gilda and Meek short for their New Year special or Free Comic Day Anthology or something to promote the series and pique the interest of new readers, what would you do for a done in one short?

The answer is I wouldn't. It's a novel to me. Nobody asks Stephen King to pad his already published novels with extra chapters. I do not and cannot write on demand, and I think it's amazing the writers who can. And it's the fact that I approach The Un-Iverse as its own thing, and not something I will to do a ton of extra promotion on which is why it may be unpublishable.

I'll tell you my goal. I am going to script and pencil the 92 issues of the original saga. Then I'm going to shop it around to e-publishers and see if I can team up with an artist to redo the saga so it looks professional using my character designs. I don't see Gilda And Meek working in book form because of the various lengths of each issue. I also am not going to shop this saga around before a version of the ending is put to paper. The entire selling point of The Un-Iverse is that is has an amazing ending. There is no point shopping it around before it's drawn. It's also why I feel perfectly comfortable sharing 33 roughly penciled issues free of charge. We haven't actually gotten to the good stuff yet.

 

[Fone Bone]

Been awhile since I've drawn Princess Sarah from The Pontue Legacy. Let's see how she looks with ink and color.

Still killing myself for giving her four fingers on each hand instead of five. As such I didn't "correct" this sketch.

 

[Fone Bone]

Picture of Juan Howler:

 

[Fone Bone]

Finished UnComix Tales: Howler #3 (Un-Iverse # 40).

Here is a sketch of the Secretary.

 

[Fone Bone]

Finished drawing Gilda And Meek #27 "All Blood Things...: Step One: What Ben Franklin Said" (Un-Iverse #41), which is the first of the five-part end of The Mistress Augatha Arc. . Here is a picture of Robot Tork, introduced in that story.

 

[Fone Bone]

The Tork picture is fixed.

Also, I've been off-line for a few days. So I didn't get the chance to tell you all about my new blog.

Gilda And Meek And The Un-Iverse

A blog about Gilda And Meek And The Un-Iverse

gildaandmeekandtheuniverse.blogspot.com

I uploaded the first issue of Gilda And Meek (it was shockingly easy considering the work i had to put into copy and pasting on this site and others) and will be uploading the next 32 issues very soon to hopefully give the saga more exposure.

The blog is such a cool thing that I'm tempted just to release ALL of the issues, publishing dreams be damned. But I'm not there yet.

 

[Fone Bone]

Finished the script for Gilda And Meek #32 "Dark Child: Part One: The Riddle" (Un-Iverse #46). Here is a picture of Hippie Joe.

 

[Fone Bone]

Finished the script to the last issue of Gilda And Meek, Gilda And Meek #33 "Dark Child: Part Two: The Pilot" (Un-Iverse #47). I always wanted to call the last issue of something the Pilot so that's where that came from.

Here is a picture of Zyle from The Pontue Legacy, who coincidentally has nothing to do with the last issue.

I have six more issues of Gilda and Meek to draw and then it's off to the sequel series F.I.S.H. and Lace Doilies. The first issue of F.I.S.H. is the next thing I'll be scripting. I'm excited.

 

[Fone Bone]

"A Foot In The Door" (Un-Iverse Fiction) By Matt Zimmer

I wrote this a few months ago and have been debating whether or not to post it for fear it might give off some unintentional Gilda And Meek spoilers. As it stands it's ambiguous enough to not give too much away and brief enough to stand on its own.

For the record, the story is confusing. If you've read all 33 issues of The Un-Iverse I've posted online it is less confusing. But it's still a bit confusing. By design. One of The Un-Iverse's biggest influences in raising questions but being slow to answer them (if ever) is Twin Peaks. But I think the story is cool enough to be posted here. It's my first attempt at written fiction in decades. Tell me what you think.

Rating: PG. Nothing objectionable except for some adult themes and a mature(ish) perspective.

All rights to Gilda And Meek and The Un-Iverse belong to Matt Zimmer.

"A Foot In The Door" by Matt Zimmer.

"What is that?" asked Gilda.

The Beautiful Woman's bangs were blown back from her forehead from the wind rising from the vortex. She was tall, shapely, and dressed in a white cloak with green and red trim. She considered Gilda carefully.

"Everything," said the Beautiful Woman.

"That is not helpful." Gilda retorted dryly.

"Have I ever been?" the Beautiful Woman asked.

It's a fair point, thought Gilda. Still, Gilda knew this woman, and knew how coldblooded and manipulative she could be. The woman wanted Gilda to go through the door to vanquish her ancient enemies for her. And while the Woman may have thought Gilda owed her, Gilda thought this woman herself is someone she owed nothing to. Not yet. Not without more explanation.

Gilda's best friend Meek Horatio Anderson leaned forward. The light from the portal flashed in his eyes as they widened in delight.

"It's a door!" he exclaimed excitedly.

"That is a more accurate description," the Beautiful Woman conceded.

Gilda asked, "Where does it go?"

The Beautiful Woman replied, "Anywhere you want."

Gilda was skeptical. "Just like that? And home before supper, I presume?"

The Beautiful Woman slowly shook her head. "Technically, if you go through THIS door, you will never enter this Universe ever again. It is the door to the Multiverse. All possible Universes, some in which you exist, most of which have never heard of you. Every possible outcome of every decision made in every Universe split off into an infinite numbers of Universes."

Gilda said, "So why would I WANT to go through that door if I'll never go home again? And I've heard scientists speculate about the existence of this concept, but none has offered a shred of proof. It's as evidence-free a science theory as the belief in God is for the religious."

The Beautiful Woman raised her left eyebrow. "You are a Cat. Are you telling me you don't believe in God?"

"Not at all. What I am saying is there is no evidence to help out my faith there. It belongs to me alone. If God exists, I have never met Him," Gilda replied.

The Beautiful Woman strongly considered correcting this misperception on Gilda's end, and wisely decided instead that that was not her story to tell.

"Without getting into a religious debate, the Multiverse DOES exist. Each of us travel it every day without realizing it, every decision we make creating entirely different Universes. Our decisions have us going back and forth between various Universes and we never end up in the same place at the end of the day. The reason you will not object going through that door is because every time you have foiled a fixed prophecy in the past, you changed the Universe you currently exist in already. I doubt you'll object to never seeing this Universe again because I'm betting today is the first time you've actually been in it."

Gilda asks a question that sounds reasonable, but it actually tells the Beautiful Woman she doesn't truly get it yet. "All of reality is divided and traveled upon by yes or no decisions?"

"Gilda, my child, you think too small. You assume decisions are binary, or that they are all in your control. A Universe isn't merely created whether or not you decide to brush your teeth. If you brush your teeth a Universe is created where you brushed for 30 seconds, one where you did for 17 seconds, and another a full minute. Some Universes you brushed hard, some you brushed fast. But every brush stroke you took created an infinite number of Universes from that, some of whose differences boil down to your toothbrush having two fewer atomic units of toothpaste from the other, or brushing a millionth of a millimeter to the left. Infinite Universes are created not just from your decisions, not just everyone else's decisions, but every being in the entire galaxy and galaxies of galaxies' decisions. An amoeba splits, a Universe is made, as are infinite versions where it went down slightly differently. You want proof for the existence of God? Just the fact that it is possible that there is a Universe out there created by an intelligent design means it happened somewhere. And if there is a God looking out for one Universe, there is probably a Mega God out there taking it upon Himself to look out for ALL Universes, even the ones He Himself didn't create. The fact that God COULD exist, means He does. And yes, somewhere out there the Flying Spaghetti Monster is very, very real. Fear him. He is still more plausible than Scientology."

Gilda considered the Beautiful Woman's insane sounding theory. And it's nuts, as tempting as it sounds.

But Gilda has known this woman for a lifetime, and yet technically only met her this morning. The look of longing Gilda saw on the Beautiful Woman's face is common enough to be directed at Gilda, but it always jarred her anyways. Meek also clearly seemed to have recognized the lust for what it was, and was also a bit frightened by it.

But not jealous of it. Never jealous.

"What do you actually know about this Universe?" the Beautiful Woman asked.

"Considering all of the death and destruction I have personally witnessed, and even been responsible for, I can safely say that I know it sucks."

The Beautiful Woman looked at her in disgust. "Which means you clearly know nothing about it. THIS specific Universe, and the Universes closest to it that you and I and Meek travel back and forth through every second, are uniquely LUCKY Universes. Have you ever heard of chaos theory?"

Gilda said, "In science fiction. Like the Multiverse, it's a concept that's completely free of any evidence."

"In THIS Universe, there is no evidence for it. It does not exist, or at least it doesn't work properly for us. The fact that the older an ancient prophecy is, the more likely it is to come to pass runs completely counter to the known chaos laws of almost all of the Universes unrelated or mostly unrelated to the cluster we inhabit. That is rare. That is a gift. Believe me, Gilda, as much as you and the world have suffered, we are all VERY fortunate. If Our Universe followed Chaos Theory like all of the rest of them, we'd probably all already be dead, or more likely never even have been born.

"Out there there are versions of you that AREN'T lucky. Who made a bad decision somewhere down the line and nearly destroyed their Universe because of it. You have saved the world twice, Gilda. Did you really never suspect there were versions of you out there that whiffed that mission?"

Gilda said, "You just want me to chase and kill the Whahuma Bears for you. That's all this is. I've been tempted by the best, and this won't impress me."

"Forget the Bears. Don't you want to see other, weaker versions of yourself, and know exactly what mistakes to avoid in the future? How to survive what comes next? Past or present, this door can take you anywhere to learn the truth about yourself and how to be a hero. And maybe you can make the lesser versions of you better people while you are at it."

Gilda was soon alarmed to see longing in Meek's eyes at that idea. She knew the one thing he wished he could change. And yet, this is an opportunity.

The Beautiful Woman leaned in and Gilda could smell her perfume. It's heavenly. "The secrets of the Universe are yours, Gilda. For the taking."

Gilda took a deep breath, turned around, and asked the only question that actually mattered.

"What do you think, Meek? Up for another adventure?" she grinned at her best friend.

He grinned back. "As always, just here for the ride."

Gilda turned around and looked back at her Universe for one last time. If the Beautiful Woman was right, it wasn't ever hers, or where she was supposed to end up. Still, she'll never see her version of Bernadette, the Piranha or Gabrielle ever again. What Gilda will pop up to them later on to replace her? Knowing that she'll never be here in this Universe again filled her with a sense of loss she never had when she traveled between Universes after foiling prophecies and never even knowing it. She also feels every bit her age. She left her child-bearing years behind long ago and that brings a pang of fear and regret too. What if she never sees HIM again either?

No, that could not be true.

Instead, Gilda asked the Beautiful Woman seriously, "Am I going to regret this?"

"Who is to say? How much of your actual life do you regret?"

Very little. And that's when the decision was made. She grabbed Meek's hand and took a deep breath.

"Are we ready?" she asked.

"Always."

They stepped through the portal as the Beautiful Woman levitated and floated through it herself. The portal closed behind them on this very, very Lucky Universe. What happened then? Pretty much everything. And all of the decisions that were made from that meant that everything was a good thing after all.

Linear Notes for "A Foot In The Door"

This is my first attempt at written fiction in decades. It kind of sucks. I normally write the Narrator in the present tense, and I used traditional past tense for this story. I don't feel like that is as consistent as it needs to be.

I want to make something very clear. I chose not to use The Un-Iverse's Narrator to tell this story. As far as Un-Iverse canon is concerned, this specific tale was relayed by me, The Author, instead. In fact, this is arguably the first Un-Iverse story that the Narrator takes no part in.

I wrote the story for two reasons. The first is that I have never been able to accurately describe to anyone who has never read The Un-Iverse what it is actually about. If you read this story, you'll know. I don't believe you'll even know after reading all of the 51 issues I have already written and drawn. But you will after reading this.

I cannot decide how to describe The Un-Iverse to newbies. Is it like Bone in being a funny animal book surprisingly stretched out into a science fiction / fantasy epic? Or are the themes it explores such as the fact that evil is uncool and mundane the actual reason I'm telling the story? Is it a political allegory for the end times we currently fear we are facing? Is it a character piece between Gilda and Bernadette and the conflicting natures of love? A thick continuity feast that connects disparate unimportant-seeming elements into an explosive 19 part finale? A book about a female protagonist whose very feminism is treated as normal by her peers, and not made an issue at all, and instead of being a female hero, is a hero who happens to be female?

It's all of those things and none of them at the same time. This story, or rather this scene, is the actual subtext to The Un-Iverse. A lucky Universe in a Multiverse teeming with unlucky ones. The Multiverse is pretty much the central theme and creed of the entire franchise. It wasn't always, but it is now.

The second reason I wrote it is because I wanted to see if I could write a Gilda and Meek story set in their far future without spoiling the points that happened between now and then. I raise questions, some of which I hope I'll get to someday, but a lot of the mysteriousness of the story comes through the fact that I DON'T actually reveal much about this period of Gilda and Meek's adventures, at least not in this story. We don't even know how far in the future it is. All we know is the tantalizing clues Gilda and the unnamed Beautiful Woman leave us.

I wanted to write this story as written fiction rather than a comic book because drawing what is happening would answer too many of the questions raised. It's better for the reader to speculate who the Beautiful Woman is, and whether or not we've even met her yet, instead of showing for sure one way or the other.

The big question: Is "A Foot In The Door" Un-Iverse canon?

Simply put, if things go the way I plan, it will be. I'll do a comic book version of the scene in 15 or 20 years (if I live that long) but I partly wrote this down to give me something to build towards.

But the reality is things rarely go the way I plan. So in 20 years, when I'm scripting and drawing "Gilda And Meek: Adventures Across The Multiverse" chances are most of the details I have described here will no longer fit, and I'll have to change a LOT of it. So the answer is that it's canon for now, but probably won't be forever.