The Disney Adventures Archive, Part 4: On Stranger Tides

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TenPoundHammer

Wanna be on Wheel of Fortune
Nov 27, 2006
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#61
July 1999. Woo.

====

Behold, the blandest DA cover ever. (Also, I hadn't realized it, but the person who previously owned these issues moved from Texas to Oklahoma sometime around 2000.)


I still don't think monkeys/apes/simans/whatever are funny (except lemurs — they get a pass), but the one ponting a banana like a gun got a chuckle out of me.


While the other kids were rocking round the clock, we were hopping and bopping to the Crocodile Rock…

A forgotten funny animal title. Not quite as forgotten as Awesome Possum Kicks Dr. Machino's Butt, but still pretty far down the list.

Also, I rarely left the house for summer vacation at this point in my life. Going to Walmart was more adventrous than my average summer vacation.


I hope this was more than one point per pouch. Because if it were only one, then… a 48-pack of Kool-Aid is $21, or about $15 in 1999 dollars. You'll have to buy about 42 packs to get 2000 points for that GameBoy, meaning you've spent $630 just to get a GameBoy.


What was it in the late 90s with animated characters "surfing" on non-surfboard shaped objects? I remember seeing that a lot in ads for Tarzan too.


(July 3 isn't a typo — there's an Eau Claire in Michigan too.)

Wild Wild West AND Inspector Gadget? Not a good month for movies.


Speaking of surfing… Ten minutes after this picture was taken, Johnny Tsunami was found frostbitten in a snowbank. Authorities questioned why he appeared to be atop a surfboard and sporting gaudy Hawaiian clothing. The suspect is believed to have suffered a major concussion, starred in a terrible Disney Channel original movie, or both.


Left: Phil Collins and 'N Sync, together at last! It's the second most requested music pairing since Nickelback and Miley Cyrus!

Right: I don't remember Nabisco ever having a Pop-Tarts knockoff, even though they're actually only three years younger than Pop-Tarts. And yet those nasty Toaster Strudels refuse to go away.

I also didn't realize the X-Men had that much pull in 1999. I thought that was more of a 2000s thing. Or maybe I'm right, and that's why they're on Toastettes and not Pop-Tarts.


"The Tarzan series: Not quite as many unnecessary sequels as Animorphs or Goosebumps, but darned if he didn't try."



Some pages from a special on Tarzan from Generic British Explorer Guy's POV. I've never seen the movie in full, so I'll leave the snark to those who have.

Most of my Tarzan knowledge comes from the parodies in Mad and Cracked (as usual, the Mad one was better). The Cracked one was actually written by Lou Silverstone, who actually started out as a parody writer for Mad before jumping ship in the 90s. I think he was getting old and lost his touch or something — the Cracked parody opened with a long preamble from Terk explaining why they just kept it titled "Tarzan" instead of giving it a parody name.


*…You can't just call them 'cookies', can you? And 'chipless chocolate chip cookies' sounds sort of awkward." "Personally, I'd call them 'a crime against humanity.'"


See, told you about the "Tarzan surfing" thing…


"Food is always around, but unfortunately it's usually covered in a bajillion bugs. And you should always watch your step, because animal dung is especially unpleasant to step in when you're barefoot like I am."


I remember these things. They were the least sour "sour" candy ever to exist. No flavor to them at all.


"Perhaps a simpler costume would work better… especially if the artists are into fanservice."


Whoa, Terk was a female?!

Also, an iguana was "odd" to you? I know a 10-year-old boy who has one for a pet.


I want to know who found out that nose print thing, and how. Probably the same guy who first squeezed a cow's udder and decided to drink whatever would come out of it.

This whole Tarzan story takes up nearly half the issue (26 per the cover, but I didn't bother to check and see if that includes the "How to Draw This Exact Pose of Terk, and Nothing Else" segment). Nice to see that in the late 90s, they still knew how to fill out an article at least some of the time.


"See, told you about the 'Tarzan surfing' thing", part II.

I remember ads for a type of twisted popsicle called Itzakadoozie that used footage of Tarzan tree-surfing. Seems those ads long outlasted the movie, too.


…Ew. I wouldn't kiss my shoes because i know where they've been.


Of course, Tarzan's the focus of the puzzles and comics too. This one has kinda chunky art, but nothing too bad.


And of course they do one focusing on Terk and company. Altogether, there are four intertwining Tarzan comics with a common thread. All the main cast have important items that have gone missing, and it turns out that Terk and Tantor were sleepwalking and taking the items.


I wish I'd known about this when I first got my GBC. At the time, Super Mario Bros. and Pokémon Silver were the only video games I played.


This is so obscure that not even Wikipedia has heard of it. But the thought of 14-year-olds doing gangsta rap sounds unintentionally hilarious, because I'm a terrible person.



Anyone wanna split that with me?

====

The next issue I grabbed was October 2000. SgtStedenko recapped that one in the first thread, but they haven't posted since 2009, and all their images are deleted, so I assume it's fair game to give it another try after this?
 

Peter Paltridge

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Stars Hollow
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#62
Wild Wild West AND Inspector Gadget? Not a good month for movies.
If you ask me why Wild Wild West flopped, I say it was because of this: every promotional image for that movie, including the one here, showed Will with that weird giant metal collar. People figured, "the movie must not make any sense, why else would THIS be the most normal image they could show me?" and skipped it. Don't forget that up to this point, you were printing money by casting Will Smith in your movie. One would have to try hard to screw that up. Which they did.

Speaking of surfing… Ten minutes after this picture was taken, Johnny Tsunami was found frostbitten in a snowbank. Authorities questioned why he appeared to be atop a surfboard and sporting gaudy Hawaiian clothing. The suspect is believed to have suffered a major concussion, starred in a terrible Disney Channel original movie, or both.
All reruns of that movie were pulled after the December 26 tsunami in Thailand. Toonami stayed on the air.

Justin Timberlake does not strike me as a Phil Collins fan, or at least the current version doesn't.

I remember these things. They were the least sour "sour" candy ever to exist. No flavor to them at all.
I only remember the ad, which was from 1996 (they kept the same campaign for at least three years, apparently). Two kids are in an elevator and a bunch of grown-ups get in, the kids start talking about the "worms" they're eating and the adults leave in a panic. One of the things said was "I like how they're sour, not too sour." The mild taste was intentional.

You can go ahead and redo October 2000.
 

TenPoundHammer

Wanna be on Wheel of Fortune
Nov 27, 2006
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#63
I only remember the ad, which was from 1996 (they kept the same campaign for at least three years, apparently). Two kids are in an elevator and a bunch of grown-ups get in, the kids start talking about the "worms" they're eating and the adults leave in a panic. One of the things said was "I like how they're sour, not too sour." The mild taste was intentional.
Found it. I remember it too, somehow.

[video=youtube;78R-nAXTvbc]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=78R-nAXTvbc[/video]

As I've said elsewhere, it's funny how just mentioning a single ad will jog my memory on it. I was watching a late 90s episode of Wheel of Fortune, and a Dairy Queen ad came on with the "Meet Me at DQ" ad. I haven't heard that phrase in well over 10 years, but I still recognized it plain as day when it came up.
 
Nov 21, 2013
56
6
#66
Hey guys!
I recently got my hands on the April 2005 issue!
Anyone want to see it?
(P.S, why do we have to put the images in spoilers? It hurts the mobile app.)
(P.P.S, What's wrong with J.B's computer?)
 
D

DIrishB1916

Guest
#69
Hello all!

I've got a question regarding Disney Adventures.

First, a bit of backstory:

I'm a big fan of the Pirates of the Caribbean films, and over the past decade or so have collected all four films on DVD, the numerous novels and children's novels, and video games relating to the series. About 5-6 years back I discovered Disney Adventures had published a number of PotC comics between 2003 and 2007 (when DA unfortunately stopped publication in the US).

So I took to the PotC wiki and other research sources, figured out which issues contained PotC stories, and took to EBay and spent 6 months buying large lots of DA back issues and cherry picking out the ones I wanted (those with the PotC comics).

Anyway, in a recent visit to the PotC wiki, I discovered there were 5 PotC comics published towards the end of 2008 in Disney Adventures issues that were still being published overseas. I think in Australia they're still printed (least according to sources I found online), and the PotC wiki page shows pictures of covers which I believe are from Russia. Those can be seen below:

The Island of Fortune - Pirates of the Caribbean Wiki - The Unofficial Pirates of the Caribbean Encyclopedia

The Shanghai Tigers - Pirates of the Caribbean Wiki - The Unofficial Pirates of the Caribbean Encyclopedia

The Black Heart of the Pearl - Pirates of the Caribbean Wiki - The Unofficial Pirates of the Caribbean Encyclopedia

The Return of Jack Sparrow - Pirates of the Caribbean Wiki - The Unofficial Pirates of the Caribbean Encyclopedia

The Lost Sea - Pirates of the Caribbean Wiki - The Unofficial Pirates of the Caribbean Encyclopedia

The issues all seem to have been printed between August - December, 2008, at least according to the Russian version pictures on the links.

So my question is, have any of you DA historians heard of these, or know specifically what countries they've been published in? I've scoured the Australian EBay page looking for them but have only found issues from the mid 1990's.

Any info would be greatly appreciated.
 
Nov 21, 2013
56
6
#72
The first issues that will be scanned:
​​April 2005​​: Secrets within the new Incredibles DVD... Kim Possible's Movie... 23 Pages of comics... 88 JOKES (We're doomed.)

​​December 1999​​: The Toy Story 2 issue, with toys being detailed rather clearly and redundantly.

​​June/July 2003​​: The Finding Nemo issue, insult to fatties included!

​​July 1997​​: The Hercules issue... And boy is it ever. The amount of Hercules related stuff in this is equal to Jetix on Toon Disney.

​​May 1993​​: It covers the worst thing to ever happen to the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles name... and it's NOT Turtle Tunes, The Turtles Christmas special, or the concerts.

I'll get to uploading soon.
 

Peter Paltridge

Ay Carumba
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Stars Hollow
www.platypuscomix.net
#74
I just found this quote of his in there, from 2009:
Jeez, Miley, quit doing that thing with your tongue, it's creepin' me out. (I remember she was on Dick Clark's New Year's Rockin' Eve in 2007 and she kept doing it like every five seconds.)
Enough about how they're the same, let's talk about how they're different. For one thing, Miley is being raised in a decent family environment, and thus, she hasn't gone out and Lindsayed herself up, which I have to give her credit for. As for Ashley Tisdale? She already got a nose job. Does plastic surgery ever lead to a commendable career path?
 
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TenPoundHammer

Wanna be on Wheel of Fortune
Nov 27, 2006
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#76
My collection is 1998 onward with a few scattered issues before then. I don't remember reading it before 1997 anyway, so it's where my nostalgia is. Sorry I've let this thread gather dust for so long, but I lost motivation and then got caught up in moving.
 
Dec 10, 2014
2
1
#77
regarding the october 1997 issue Does anyone know or remember what they said about the game show "Click" in the section where they previewed the fall tv season? i know it was mentioned because i had that issue and i remember making a mental note to watch the show. ( I'm ready to bet that those of you who don't remember it or didn't watch it would be VERY surprised if you found out who hosted it.)
 
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Misha

New Member
Mar 11, 2016
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#78
Hello. This is "Teacher's pet". Tell me, please, what from magazine issue this comics? 2000-2004 years.
 
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Aug 18, 2016
1
1
27
#79
So, I know that the 1999/2000 game heavy issues were covered but I was wondering if anyone remembers there being a issue where they showed Crash Bandicoot and had bits of info on various injuries he had gotten from his adventures? I seem to recall it being in an issue of Adventures but I don't remember which one.
 

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Can't wait until Steven Universe returns.
Poor Craig. How old is he anyway?!
9.4 x 1.8
= (94 x 0.1) x (18 x 0.1)
= 94 x 18 x 0.1 x 0.1

94 x 10 = 940
94 x 8 = (90 x 8) + (4 x 8) = 720 + 32 = 752
94 x 18 = 940 + 752 = 1692

9.4 x 1.8
= 1692 x 0.1 x 0.1
= 169.2 x 0.1
= 16.92
Stephanie Sheh voicing Izzy Park the same way she does Sailor Moon has me considering the chance of Nazneen Contractor dubbing some "Sailor Moon" episodes I currently dont plan to buy.
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