Fone Bone
Matt Zimmer
Should this show have an individual talkback? Until it does, I'm gonna post my reviews of the first five episodes here. Spoilers ahead:
Rise Of The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles "Mystic Mayhem"
That is going to cause a fuss. That will create a stir. That will be polarizing.
Personally? I loved it. I haven't enjoyed a Turtles project this much in years. But a lotta hatas gonna hate.
Brief Turtle opinion history from me. I was 13 when the 1987 series debuted. I really loved the five part pilot, but I thought every episode after that was boring and nowhere near as interesting as the black and white comics. I thought the first movie was one of the better comic book adaptations I had seen at the time, and I saw both underwhelming sequels years later and wasn't sad I skipped them in the theater. Ninja Turtles: The Next Mutation was a visually interesting idea that unfortunately had bad scripts and villains, and Venus underwhelmed. I think the 2003 series was the definitive Turtles project to me, and the CGI animated TMNT movie was underpraised. I've only seen the first Michael Bay film and that is the worst thing in the franchise. The second worst thing? The 2012 series.
And that is where I part ways with the fandom who loves it. I cannot stand that badly written piece of garbage. So maybe you should know the real reason I view this project favorably is because I thought the last project did so wrong by the viewers in every conceivable way. Me watching this was show was like "Wait, I'm ALLOWED to enjoy a Turtles project?" I don't actually have to nitpick the show because it's ostensibly a show about Ninjas but the brothers loudly blunder around on covert missions as if they are the Three Stooges and Roger Rabbit? The Turtles can be funny without being stupid or incompetent? Why have I been denied this for so long? Why did the 2012 series make watching every episode a freaking ordeal? Why is it now the franchise is going back to the fun satire it is when it's at its best?
Let's talk about the good and the bad. First impressions can be wrong.
First off, I still hate the character designs, but the animation is AMAZING. If the trade-off to having free-wheeling, off the wall action to this is making the Turtles a little toonier than I'm comfortable with, well, the results speak for themselves. The 2003 series had surprisingly good animation for low budget and its era in history, but this blows it away. And honestly, I think the animation in the 2012 series is really bad. Outside of the Star Wars cartoons and Transformers Prime there are not a ton of CGI TV cartoons that look good. That's because CGI is expensive, and kids cartoons are usually a budget medium. Therefore New York always seemed empty, and whenever it wasn't a season finale, the action in the fight scenes, while landing well, seemed sort of overly choreographed and conventional. This is just bananas. Granted, it's just the first episode, and maybe that was this show upping the game and budget just this once. But the truth is, the 2012 series' animation got better every year. This is not like the 2003 series that went backward in the last two seasons. Animation techniques are improving so rapidly that a show can cut its budget every year and still wind up looking better. That wasn't the case in the mid aughts. But now, I think what we were given might not simply be the show at its best. It might simply be the tip of the iceberg.
I like that they didn't do an origin story. Maybe they will down the line, but that sets this apart from the other Turtle stuff. And so much stuff is set apart that I am willing to see the show take chances and mess with the formula a bit. Part of the reason I hated 2012 so much is that they were ruining a ton of great source material. If it's a non-factor here, of course I can sit back and enjoy the series more and on its own merits. It's crazy more shows based on comic books don't try this to begin with. But we've gotten to the point where maybe stepping away a bit from the huge amount of canon will be healthy.
I like the humor. It's urban, and half the cast is African American, and it strikes me as observational too. The quips are things you'd hear somebody say on Park and Recreation. The characters are funny, self-aware, and not actually stupid. They don't overexplain their jokes to each other or the audience and nobody cares.
I hope they don't say "Leon" too often though. It hits the ear wrong.
I also like that the brothers are much less contentious. That was a great source of occasional drama in the 2003 series, and I think the TMNT movie was amazing because of it. But it was unending on the 2012 show, and nobody ever learned a lesson, or at least carried what they learned in one episode over to the next, which was tiring. There was no growth. That might not have been an issue if the Turtles weren't so unprofessional, incompetent, and stupid on their missions. Silly me, I had assumed that that would be a season one problem, and the hook of the show would be watching the team grow together into an amazing fighting force. And the freaking series finale is literally the Turtles getting every single one of their allies killed because they suck at their job so much. Yay, closure, am I right?
Here the Turtles joke around on the mission, but they don't eff it up, or at least eff it up in a way that damages anything. The 2012 Turtles were responsible for so much misery and destruction in New York City just based on how carelessly they handled the Mutagen containers alone. I will rest easy that I will not be watching a show where the Turtles mutate April's father because they were petty bickering when their friend actually needed them. And the crazy thing is, that watching these Turtles work well together like a well oiled machine tells me that that specific sort of conflict was always unnecessary and made the 2012 show worse for no good reason. That's probably why all of the in-fighting on the 2003 versions stayed in the sewers and they rocked the missions. If there IS gonna be upcoming conflict I hope they do the same thing. They are off to a good start.
The 2012 show was nonstop unforced errors, and if anything, I suspect this show is going to prove how unnecessary and stupid every single one of those mistakes was. I already like the first episode of this show better than every episode of the 2012 show. And there WERE admittedly episodes of that show that I liked. But I had few real complaints here and my gripes were unending even during the rare good weeks on the last iteration.
Can't wait for more. I expect good things. ****1/2.
Rise Of The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles "Newsworthy"
Back to the Turtles being incompetent. The twist? They mess up against a foe that doesn't actually matter and don't lose anything.
I loved them looking in horror at Leo just cutting that worm in half. What a hilarious line reading from Raph on "Leo, what did you just do?"
I love that Raph WANTS to wear the costume. Supposedly the thing that only Mikey used to enjoy is actually a leader perk on this show. Good to know.
That joke about the Turtles using math to nitpick Stone's quip about not growing back four sizes and two strengths was a REALLY smart joke. I love the 2003 series, but it was NOT known for smart jokes. This is probably the first smart Turtles project.
Fun. ****.
Rise Of The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles "Origami Tsunami"
Oh, these Turtles got it covered. It don't matter HOW much they mess up. The salami paper doesn't work? Donnie put a tracker in it! Braap! Don't worry, he put in two! These guys have contingencies.
"Look, they're gone!" "Then what are we looking at?" That is both a very smart joke and a very stupid joke at the same time.
I love that Leo is a bit of coward. I love that he wants to make sure the first adventure is Junior Mystery material. These are not the Turtles rushing out to face spine crushers and manglers. Nope. And when he see how impressive the Foot he's like, "Well, we outnumber you 2 to 1. Maybe we'll just call it even and go home." That's is SO freaking funny.
I love the other Turtles reactions to Raph eating the salami. Somehow I don't think the five second rule was intended to count former salami glop monsters. That is NOT what the Founding Fathers had in mind when they invented it.
Funny episode. And the animation was again amazing. ****1/2.
Rise Of The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles "Repo Mantis"
That was more slight than the other episodes (only Donnie and Mikey appear) but it's funny, and the facial expression are top-notch and hilarious.
When that guys all "Dogs have 8 nipples" I was like "This is not your father's TMNT cartoon."
Michael is similar to Leon in hitting the ear wrong. Stop it.
All right but the weakest episode so far. **1/2.
Rise Of The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles "War And Pizza"
Okay, so I've added the figures and done the math, and according to my calculations, forgetting to change a battery in a remote control is a completely plausible reason for a robot to become evil and gain sentience and start destroying the building. Totally checks out. How? Shut up, that's how.
So apparently Donnie's type is giant, adorable, and sinister. Thank God it's not actually April. 2012 Donnie perving on a clearly cringing 2012 April never stopped being creepy.
I love that Alberto is moved that he finally gets a birthday and April just destroys the moment and starts demolishing him with a sledgehammer. Can I just say how glad I am Happy Birthday is public domain again? Pop culture has immediately started to suck less since it became so.
Donatello reminds me of David Cross. He's the funny one.
Fun episode. April's fired. ****.
Rise Of The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles "Mystic Mayhem"
That is going to cause a fuss. That will create a stir. That will be polarizing.
Personally? I loved it. I haven't enjoyed a Turtles project this much in years. But a lotta hatas gonna hate.
Brief Turtle opinion history from me. I was 13 when the 1987 series debuted. I really loved the five part pilot, but I thought every episode after that was boring and nowhere near as interesting as the black and white comics. I thought the first movie was one of the better comic book adaptations I had seen at the time, and I saw both underwhelming sequels years later and wasn't sad I skipped them in the theater. Ninja Turtles: The Next Mutation was a visually interesting idea that unfortunately had bad scripts and villains, and Venus underwhelmed. I think the 2003 series was the definitive Turtles project to me, and the CGI animated TMNT movie was underpraised. I've only seen the first Michael Bay film and that is the worst thing in the franchise. The second worst thing? The 2012 series.
And that is where I part ways with the fandom who loves it. I cannot stand that badly written piece of garbage. So maybe you should know the real reason I view this project favorably is because I thought the last project did so wrong by the viewers in every conceivable way. Me watching this was show was like "Wait, I'm ALLOWED to enjoy a Turtles project?" I don't actually have to nitpick the show because it's ostensibly a show about Ninjas but the brothers loudly blunder around on covert missions as if they are the Three Stooges and Roger Rabbit? The Turtles can be funny without being stupid or incompetent? Why have I been denied this for so long? Why did the 2012 series make watching every episode a freaking ordeal? Why is it now the franchise is going back to the fun satire it is when it's at its best?
Let's talk about the good and the bad. First impressions can be wrong.
First off, I still hate the character designs, but the animation is AMAZING. If the trade-off to having free-wheeling, off the wall action to this is making the Turtles a little toonier than I'm comfortable with, well, the results speak for themselves. The 2003 series had surprisingly good animation for low budget and its era in history, but this blows it away. And honestly, I think the animation in the 2012 series is really bad. Outside of the Star Wars cartoons and Transformers Prime there are not a ton of CGI TV cartoons that look good. That's because CGI is expensive, and kids cartoons are usually a budget medium. Therefore New York always seemed empty, and whenever it wasn't a season finale, the action in the fight scenes, while landing well, seemed sort of overly choreographed and conventional. This is just bananas. Granted, it's just the first episode, and maybe that was this show upping the game and budget just this once. But the truth is, the 2012 series' animation got better every year. This is not like the 2003 series that went backward in the last two seasons. Animation techniques are improving so rapidly that a show can cut its budget every year and still wind up looking better. That wasn't the case in the mid aughts. But now, I think what we were given might not simply be the show at its best. It might simply be the tip of the iceberg.
I like that they didn't do an origin story. Maybe they will down the line, but that sets this apart from the other Turtle stuff. And so much stuff is set apart that I am willing to see the show take chances and mess with the formula a bit. Part of the reason I hated 2012 so much is that they were ruining a ton of great source material. If it's a non-factor here, of course I can sit back and enjoy the series more and on its own merits. It's crazy more shows based on comic books don't try this to begin with. But we've gotten to the point where maybe stepping away a bit from the huge amount of canon will be healthy.
I like the humor. It's urban, and half the cast is African American, and it strikes me as observational too. The quips are things you'd hear somebody say on Park and Recreation. The characters are funny, self-aware, and not actually stupid. They don't overexplain their jokes to each other or the audience and nobody cares.
I hope they don't say "Leon" too often though. It hits the ear wrong.
I also like that the brothers are much less contentious. That was a great source of occasional drama in the 2003 series, and I think the TMNT movie was amazing because of it. But it was unending on the 2012 show, and nobody ever learned a lesson, or at least carried what they learned in one episode over to the next, which was tiring. There was no growth. That might not have been an issue if the Turtles weren't so unprofessional, incompetent, and stupid on their missions. Silly me, I had assumed that that would be a season one problem, and the hook of the show would be watching the team grow together into an amazing fighting force. And the freaking series finale is literally the Turtles getting every single one of their allies killed because they suck at their job so much. Yay, closure, am I right?
Here the Turtles joke around on the mission, but they don't eff it up, or at least eff it up in a way that damages anything. The 2012 Turtles were responsible for so much misery and destruction in New York City just based on how carelessly they handled the Mutagen containers alone. I will rest easy that I will not be watching a show where the Turtles mutate April's father because they were petty bickering when their friend actually needed them. And the crazy thing is, that watching these Turtles work well together like a well oiled machine tells me that that specific sort of conflict was always unnecessary and made the 2012 show worse for no good reason. That's probably why all of the in-fighting on the 2003 versions stayed in the sewers and they rocked the missions. If there IS gonna be upcoming conflict I hope they do the same thing. They are off to a good start.
The 2012 show was nonstop unforced errors, and if anything, I suspect this show is going to prove how unnecessary and stupid every single one of those mistakes was. I already like the first episode of this show better than every episode of the 2012 show. And there WERE admittedly episodes of that show that I liked. But I had few real complaints here and my gripes were unending even during the rare good weeks on the last iteration.
Can't wait for more. I expect good things. ****1/2.
Rise Of The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles "Newsworthy"
Back to the Turtles being incompetent. The twist? They mess up against a foe that doesn't actually matter and don't lose anything.
I loved them looking in horror at Leo just cutting that worm in half. What a hilarious line reading from Raph on "Leo, what did you just do?"
I love that Raph WANTS to wear the costume. Supposedly the thing that only Mikey used to enjoy is actually a leader perk on this show. Good to know.
That joke about the Turtles using math to nitpick Stone's quip about not growing back four sizes and two strengths was a REALLY smart joke. I love the 2003 series, but it was NOT known for smart jokes. This is probably the first smart Turtles project.
Fun. ****.
Rise Of The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles "Origami Tsunami"
Oh, these Turtles got it covered. It don't matter HOW much they mess up. The salami paper doesn't work? Donnie put a tracker in it! Braap! Don't worry, he put in two! These guys have contingencies.
"Look, they're gone!" "Then what are we looking at?" That is both a very smart joke and a very stupid joke at the same time.
I love that Leo is a bit of coward. I love that he wants to make sure the first adventure is Junior Mystery material. These are not the Turtles rushing out to face spine crushers and manglers. Nope. And when he see how impressive the Foot he's like, "Well, we outnumber you 2 to 1. Maybe we'll just call it even and go home." That's is SO freaking funny.
I love the other Turtles reactions to Raph eating the salami. Somehow I don't think the five second rule was intended to count former salami glop monsters. That is NOT what the Founding Fathers had in mind when they invented it.
Funny episode. And the animation was again amazing. ****1/2.
Rise Of The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles "Repo Mantis"
That was more slight than the other episodes (only Donnie and Mikey appear) but it's funny, and the facial expression are top-notch and hilarious.
When that guys all "Dogs have 8 nipples" I was like "This is not your father's TMNT cartoon."
Michael is similar to Leon in hitting the ear wrong. Stop it.
All right but the weakest episode so far. **1/2.
Rise Of The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles "War And Pizza"
Okay, so I've added the figures and done the math, and according to my calculations, forgetting to change a battery in a remote control is a completely plausible reason for a robot to become evil and gain sentience and start destroying the building. Totally checks out. How? Shut up, that's how.
So apparently Donnie's type is giant, adorable, and sinister. Thank God it's not actually April. 2012 Donnie perving on a clearly cringing 2012 April never stopped being creepy.
I love that Alberto is moved that he finally gets a birthday and April just destroys the moment and starts demolishing him with a sledgehammer. Can I just say how glad I am Happy Birthday is public domain again? Pop culture has immediately started to suck less since it became so.
Donatello reminds me of David Cross. He's the funny one.
Fun episode. April's fired. ****.
