Pockemon - The First Gym

pacman000

It’s root bear & a candy cigar!
Joined
Jun 5, 2017
Messages
560
Entry for the 2021 Comedy One Shot contest. https://forums.serebii.net/threads/make-me-laugh-–-a-comedy-one-shot-contest.682328/

Saw that I still had this in my messages folder, so I figured I’d post it now instead of later:

Pockemon - The First Gym

(The word "Pockemon" was an early attempt to combine "Pocket" and "Monster" into a single word. It was briefly used in Japan.)

Scene I



(Ash, with Pikachu by his side, enters a large, rock-clad building. It's the Pewter City Gym. He bursts through the doors & stands at the end of an arena which looks like a socker field. The gym leader, Brock, sits crossed-legged at the other end of the arena.)



Ash: I'm Ash from the town of Pallet! I'm on a quest to become the Greatest Pockemon Master! Of All Time! I challenge you to a Pockemon Battle!



Brock: Ok, but I've got to warn you. This isn't a simple trainer vs. trainer match, out in the woods somewhere. This is an official Pockemon League Match. There are rules & regulations-



Ash: Well, I'm ready!



Brock: Ok... but first... Have a doughnut!



Ash: Wha?



(Brock runs to Ash, holding a round box of triangular cakes.)



Brock: I made 'em myself. (Smiling.)



Ash: I thought doughnuts had holes...



Brock: (Defensive) They're...jelly-filled doughnuts. Yeah. That's it.



Ash: Why are they triangular?



Brock: (Shouting) You make doughnuts your way & I'll make 'em my way!



(Brocks stomps back to his side of the gym.)



Ash: (Confused) I'm just saying they don't look like Doughnuts. They look like Danishes. Or Maybe Mocci from Monster Rancher.



Brock: (Cross.) Mocci is round. And he has a duck-bill. Do you want to battle or not?



Ash: Yeah! I'm ready! Go Pikachu!



Pikachu: Pi! Ka! Chu!



(Pikachu steps onto the field, smiling, but with focused, angry-eyes & clinched fists.)



Brock: A Pikachu? Seriously?



Ash: What's wrong with Pikachu?



Brock: Well, for one thing, it's a silly little Pockemon based on a dumpling with ears drawn on it.



Pikachu: Pi!



Ash: So, you're saying it's too cute in this stage to win?



Brock: No. Even if they hadn't cut out Gorochu it still couldn't win. Pikachu only knows electric moves, & electric moves have no effect on rock or ground type Pockemon.



Ash: What? That doesn't make any sense-



Brock: Check your manual-



Ash: I don't need a manual! I'm a big boy who can take care of himself! Isn't that right Pikachu?



(Pikachu looks at Ash, unsure.)



Pikachu: Pi...ka...chu?



Misty: (Calling from off-screen.) Ash...



Ash: Misty?



Misty: Up here!



(Ash looks up. Above the field there's a balcony from which spectators can watch the battle. Misty up there, leaning over the railing, calling to Ash.)



Ash: Misty? How'd you get up there?



Misty: I climbed. Ash! Why don't you use Butterfree? He knows Psychic! That move is strong against Rock Pockemon!



Ash: Would you mind your own business! I don't need advice from some girl! You don't even like bug Pockemon!



Misty: At least I read the instruction manual! (Waves manual over railing.)



Ash: (Angerly. Arms crossed; eyes closed.) Pikachu! Go for it!



Pikachu: Pika... (Steps into the arena, slowly & nervously.)



Brock: Go Onyx!



(Brock throws a small red & white monster ball into the air. It shoots out a bright red beam, which gradually dissolves into a huge Pockemon, a giant snake made from boulders.)



Ash: (Taken back.) Never mind! I forfeit!



(Ash turns to leave, but the doors close & lock in front of him. Pikachu runs to them & desperately tries to pry, push, or pull them open. Ash turns to Brock.)



Brock: Remember those rules & regulations I mentioned? There's no running from an Official League Battle!



Ash: ...This is because I insulted your doughnuts, isn’t it?



Brock: Maybe. Onyx! Body Slam attack!



(The giant snake looms over Ash & Pikachu. It relaxes it's body, allowing it's crushing weight to fall towards them. It lands with a deafening "thud.")



Misty: Oh no!



Brock: Well, that battle ended quickly.



(Misty leaps down from the balcony & lands on her feet beside Brock.)



Brock: Well, hello there. Maybe you'd like to come to my house & make dinner some-AAAAAAHHHHH!



(Misty begins slapping Brock repeatedly.)



Brock: What-What are you doing?



Misty: That kid owed me a new bike! Now he's crushed into jelly! There's no way he'll even pay me back! And Pikachu was cute you big bully!



Ash: Hey! Misty!



(Misty stops slapping Brock. Looks at Ash.)



Misty: Ash? How'd you?



Ash: I dodged Onyx at the last second!



(Pikachu hops up onto Brock's shoulder.)



Pikachu: Pika-chu!



Ash: So did Pikachu!



Pikachu: Pi-Pika!



(Pikachu thunder-shocks Misty & Brock. Both of them faint. Ash runs up to them. He reaches into Brock's vest pocket & pulls out a badge.)



Ash: Come on, Pikachu! Before they wake up!



(Ash starts to run out the door, then stops.)



Ash: This is wrong.



(Ash gently sets the badge down on the floor.)



Ash: If I'm going to win the league, I can't do it by cheating or stealing. I can't just knock a trainer out & grab what I want. I can only take a badge if a gym leader gives it to me fair & square! Come on Pikachu! We have more training to do!



(Ash & Pikachu run out the door, into the blinding sunlight.)



Scene II



(Ash stands in front of an old mill.)



Ash: Well! This looks like the perfect place to train!



(Ash climbs up the old mill's water wheel. Pikachu sits on a cross beam at the top of the wheel, cheering him on.)



Pikachu: Pika-Chu! Pika-Chu! Pika-Chu!



(Ash approaches the top of the wheel.)



Ash: Hey, wait a second, if you're the one who's battling, shouldn't you be the one training?



(The wheel starts to turn, backwards.)



Ash: Whoa!



(Ash falls off the wheel & hits his head.)



Ash: Ow!! Oh man... (Rubs head.) Huh?



Brock: (Walking up.) Hey, you're Ash, right?



Ash: Yeah, but I didn't take anything! I mean I considered it but-



Brock: No, no, no. Here, I wanted to give you this. (Hands Ash a badge.) Go on. You earned it.



Ash: What? No....how?



Brock: Pockemon are supposed to protect their trainers. Mine didn't protect me from your Pikachu. I'm the one who needs to train more, not you.



Ash: Oh... But it still seems wrong somehow.



Brock: Look, I'm giving you the badge, officially, with no strings attached. I'm publicly acknowledging that you defeated an official Pockemon League Gym Leader. Don't you want the badge?



Ash: Yeah!



Brock: Then take it!



(Ash grabs the badge. He leaps into the air.)



Ash: Yeah! I won a badge!



Pikachu: (Making "V" for Victory) Pikachu!



Brock: Ok, ok. Don't get cocky.



Ash: (Bad British accent.) What's the matter gov'nr? Can't take th'loss?



Brock: I said cocky, not Cockney.



Ash: I don't care! I won! I won! I won! My first badge....



Brock: Yep. And you should go get more. Quickly! The nearest is in Cerulean City. Go! Shoo!



Ash: Alright. I'm going. Maybe we'll see each other again someday, like when I win the league.



Brock: Yeah. Maybe. If Hubris doesn't get in your way.



Ash: Hubris? What's that? I haven't heard of that type of Pockemon.



(Pikachu facepalms.)



Brock: Then you should search for it! Go on!



Ash: Ok! Looks like we've got a new mission Pikachu! Go to go the Cerulean Gym & catch a Hubris!



(Ash walks off. Pikachu shakes his head then follows. Misty walks up.)



Brock: Well, I did it. I gave the kid a badge. Why was it so important to you anyways?



Misty: He needs to pay me for my bike. If he has more badges, he can get sponsors.



Brock: Oh? That doesn't sound too convincing to me. You must love him.



Misty: What!? No...



Brock: Really? You're blushing-



Misty: (Shouting) That means nothing!



Brock: Sure. Hey you better hurry up & catch him. You wouldn't want to lose him before he pays you. (Winks.)



Misty: I have plenty of time to catch up. Where's he headed?



Brock: Oh, I think he's headed to Cerulean, to challenge their gym.



Misty: The Cerulean Gym! Oh no!



Brock: (Smiling.) What is it?



Misty: Oh, nothing...Just...



Brock: Yes?



Misty: Oh. It's none of your business anyways!



(Misty stomps off in the direction of Cerulean city. Brock watches her leave. He gets out a cell phone.)



Brock: Hey, Waterflower. Looks like I convinced your little sister to come home. And I think she fould a boy friend. You know if you want one-



(*BING* Brock grimaces as the person on the other line slams their phone down on their receiver.)



Brock: Tough crowd.



(Brock turns & walks back towards his gym. The camera tilts up to the bright blue sky. The image shrinks down to 1/4 its normal size & moves to the top left-hand quarter of the screen. The words "To be continued" appear on the lower right-hand quarter of the screen. Fade out.)
 

Spotlight

Staff online

Who's on Discord?

Latest profile posts

Then something bad is intensifying!
Asa
Peanuts creator Charles Schultz would've turned 99 years old today.
Lost of Christmas stuff on tonight Frosty and Frosty Returns is on CBS tonight, it's always on the night after Thanksgiving, so is Grandma Got Runover by a Reindeer on The CW, and NBC has the Original Grinch, ABC has Santa Claus is Comin' to town (though if you prefer to watch this one un edited Freeform is the better place to watch it )
Nick@nite finally got new Christmas brand just today started 6am!

Featured Posts

Top