Crossing Swords Talkback (SPOILERS)

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Kevin Mo

orangemo
Can you explain why? We expect posts to have a bit more to them than this.
Of course. I took these reviews from my post at nohomers.

PILOT

This show has offensive jokes just for the sake of being offensive. Shock humor is over the top and it’s so mean-spirited. The animation is great but the writing so far sucks. I’ll continue to watch in hopes it gets better though so maybe I’ll be surprised.

Rating for writing: 0/5

HOT TUB DEATH MACHINE



Better structured but still full of shock humor and bad jokes. Literally it’s so predictable and the way they end up wanting the king more is just pure lazy way to end the episode. So far not impressed. Hope it gets better.

Rating for writing: 1/5

WHAT’S KRAKEN?


‪Still the same thing over the top shock humor lame jokes lack of story and the sister is really unlikeable and irritating. I’m still not impressed at all with this show. The dad’s offensiveness wasn’t funny either.‬

‪Rating for writing: 0/5

IN THE LINE OF SQUIRE


Why are they using cutaway gags? Are they trying to copy Family Guy now. The one with the goblins smoking meth and renting the home was really freaking stupid. The princess is a big-ass douchebag and the story is so lazy and predictable still. All the characters except Patrick, the mom, and the human shield are still unlikeable assholes. We all knew he was gonna die in the end. And even after Patrick saves the princess she continues to be a jerk. This is probably the worst episode, but I committed to watching the next 6 episodes, but can I stop here because none of these are worth watching again?

Rating for writing: 0/5
 
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Kevin Mo

orangemo
LET THEM EAT CLOWN

Well that was really freaking boring. It only got worse at the ending scene and nothing happens. I actually forgot what happened.

0/5

MY SWEET SWEET PERIOD PARTY


This episode was better than the last, but it still has its fair share of bad stuff. Unlikeable characters and still lazy story. The scene with the ghost and princess wishing she had more friends was decent. But still bad.

0.5/5

LOOK WHO'S STALKING


This episode could have actually been decent if it wasn't for the awful subplot and over-the-top shock humor even if it has a good story. I already knew the Gremin was gonna be mutilated as soon as he went outside. It ruined the whole subplot. And none of the subplot was good to begin with. Close Enough does a better example at parenting stories than this show. No one learns a lesson here. It's just back to being assholes rather than growing as characters. This show basically says "F*** you" to character development. The part with Broth cutting the beanstalk was mostly pointless filler until the end. Sloane barely appeared and was just a pointless filler character. And nothing was funny. This is the best episode so far, but it's still got a long way if this show wants to win me over.

1/5

EAT PLAGUE LOVE

The first episode that's actually decent to watch. The dynamic with Norah and Patrick was great and I actually cared for once for the characters. The issues are more relatable, there's more depth and story-focused scenes. Granted the subplot is still awful with the other characters competing for king, but at least the main was solid this time around.

2.5/5

THE A-MOOOO-ZING RACE


Another decent episode. The peach/semen stuff was awful and I didn't understand why they had to make characters gay here just for representation, but I found the Minotaur to be slightly amusing and the adventure that Patrick goes through is decently executed. At least this time both plots weren't terrible.

3/5

UNCHAINED MONARCHY (SEASON 1 FINALE)


The villain twist was actually pretty good. I didn't really think the siblings helping Patrick was heartwarming since I don't freaking care for them in the first place. They're all still terrible characters. Danielle's fight with Patrick was pretty well executed and there were some decent jokes this time around.

3/5

CROSSING SWORDS SEASON 1 REVIEW


The stop-motion animation is great, voice acting is solid, and Patrick is a decent protagonist, but the writing on this show sucks. Maybe I don't like this because I don't like Robot Chicken, but considering the fact that both shows are completely different in premise and episode lengths, it's still bad so far and feels uninspired at times.

Well, the first 7 episodes of this show sucked ass. There's way too many unfunny crass jokes that get old after 2 minutes, the show has a habit of using lazy writing to end an episode (episodes 2 and 5), and when the show isn't being awful, it's freaking boring (episode 5). So far either episode 3 or 4 is the worst of the show, not the Pilot.

I think if this show continues with the episode 8-10 types of episodes, it can actually separate itself from Robot Chicken and be a decent show. I don't think this show will be amazing, but I don't think it will be truly awful like Teen Titans Go or something. The show needs more emphasis on story and characters, and way less emphasis on dirty jokes and shock humor. There's a reason why Rick and Morty is great. It combines the shock humor with smart jokes and good character dynamics. Most of the characters in this show suck ass and the jokes are 99% a miss.

Out of all the new adult animations I've watched, Solar Opposites, Bless the Harts, and Central Park were all great shows and I loved watching all of them. Midnight Gospel, while not my type, at least had a great S1 finale and an interesting premise. And Duncanville is decently funny with some solid characters and still has potential to impress me, which is why I'll continue to watch. But this show I don't know. I didn't think any of Bless the Harts had any terrible episodes so I'm glad I stuck with that. And Duncanville has some slightly bad episodes, but I didn't think any were horrible like this. The terrible episodes of this show make modern Family Guy look like a god in comparison. And with adult animation on the rise, people are demanding that the formula be changed. We have awesome new shows like Solar Opposites and Close Enough, and yet this show decides to take another Robot Chicken/South Park route with its premise and comedy. So far I'm not impressed, but maybe it can get better in the second season. We'll just have to see. I'm just glad no studios are cancelling adult cartoons after 1 season anymore, even if they suck because they can always get better.

Overall, I just have to say, Rotten Tomatoes was definitely right here. This show was pretty bad. Crossing Swords takes way too long to get decent, and many people don’t have the patience to get through seven bad episodes. If you’ve been waiting to watch this, it’s really not worth your time to go through seven bad episodes to get to three decent ones. Likely won’t be returning to this.



ENTIRE SEASON RATING: 4.5/10
 
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