Disney, creator of everything, and 20th Century Fox, creator of everything else, officially announced their engagement today in a lavish ceremony with hundreds of shareholders and assorted colleagues in attendance. The wedding date is set for the spring of 2019, assuming a few minor hurdles can be cleared first.
Fox Studios went through a public divorce from Australian billionaire Rupert Murdoch last year, and in the months since has been spotted in public arm-in-arm with a giant rodent sporting black circular ears. There were attempts by jealous rival Comcast to sabotage the romance, but their schemes fell through. Reps from both companies gushed about their love for one another to the press this morning:
“We’re incredibly pleased that shareholders of both companies have granted approval for us to move forward, and are confident in our ability to create significant long-term value through this acquisition of Fox’s premier assets,” said Disney CEO Bob Iger, giggling like a schoolgirl. “We remain grateful to Rupert Murdoch and to the rest of the 21st Century Fox board for entrusting us with the future of these extraordinary businesses, and look forward to welcoming 21st Century Fox’s stellar talent to Disney and ultimately integrating our businesses to provide consumers around the world with more appealing content and entertainment options.”
Is a baby bump on the way? Industry analysts anticipate Disney and Fox’s union will result in the X-Men officially joining the Marvel Cinematic Universe and, quite possibly, the world’s first halfway decent Fantastic Four movie. Missing from the deal are the items Fox lost in the divorce proceedings with Murdock: the Fox Network, Fox’s news and sports networks and anything else that the DOJ ruled had to go.
At $71.3 billion, the upcoming wedding won’t be a cheap one, but if anyone can afford it, it’s the unified Disney-Fox family, which now includes Marvel, Star Wars, the Muppets, Terminators, Xenomorphs, the Na’vi from Avatar, the Simpsons, Tina Belcher and that guy with the basket on his head from “Legion.”